---

Gee...and here I thought you had discovered a wife I've never had.

---

lol Wade.. Don't worry.. I knew instantly it wasn't you. =)

As far as this 'wife' goes.. Why does the court give mothers so much leverage in their rulings?

---

Because they are the natural caregiver for child raising. What courts do a very poor job with is recognizing outstanding fathers and punishing poor mothers. Then when you have a poor mother and father, the court is really up shit creek because neither should get the kid(s).

---

nothing.

Siohvaughn!?

What's wrong with good ole Siobhan?

---

With this being a extreme sensitive subject for myself personally, I'll keep my comments to a minimum. Gender bias comes from the stereo type that men are bad parents. Old people tend not to understand times change and that a small quantity of poor fathers should not negate the good fathers.

---

Your case notwithstanding, 4PackGirl, it is a fact that the overwhelming majority of courts are skewed in favor of the mother. In many jurisdictions, they are required to do so. The laws of countries like Australia are particularly onerous. Domestic assault, for example, is defined as a man's-only crime in that country; a man cannot be charged with domestic violence. Moreover, the police are obligated by law to take the word of the woman against the man, no matter how the situation might appear to them.

That's not gender equality. That's preferential treatment.

I personally believe that the average single father is a better parent than the average single mother. After all, it's not a mother the typical convict is missing -- it's a father.

In your case, 4PackGirl, and others like yours, I can understand why the courts are so reluctant to take your word against the father's. By your own admission, you knew "what he was" when you married him. You stayed with him for a number of years -- you even had more than one child with him. Now you want the court to believe he is suddenly a greater threat and should be deprived of his rights? I applaud the courts for their caution. This isn't the 1980s anymore, when children were stripped from their parents on the slightest provocation. I'm glad that reign of terror is ended.

---

Another thing: The research unequivocally shows that even in physically and sexually abusive situations, children who are allowed to stay with their parents grow up better adjusted and psychologically/emotionally healthier than those put in foster care. As much as it may jar on you to see your children with their father, it's almost certainly in the children's best interest. No matter how flawed an individual he may be, they still love him, and he probably loves them.

---

really, non? i 'knew what he was' when i married him? yes i did. however, when someone goes through inpatient treatment & is 'sober' for 12 years of the 15 you're with him, you tend to think having children with them is probably gonna be ok. so it's now my fault because he decided one night that he'd go ahead & drink again? and it's MY fault that he got the DUI's & put his children i harms way by driving them around on a suspended license? and it's my fault that he has missed MANY visitations with them because he's a selfish alcoholic? and it's my fault that he refuses to pay for half of their medical/dental/eye costs? and it's my fault that he has chosen his own needs over those of his children? and it's my fault that he lies to his kids? and it's my fault that i didn't have a fuckin crystal ball that foretold the future? he hadn't touched a drop in 7 years before i had the boys with him. but yeah - it's my fault. makes sense.

i had TWINS with him - after 10 years of infertility!! don't you dare claim to know every aspect of my situation. i've discussed it on here but not in complete detail. i don't expect the court to take MY word over HIS - it's not about him & me - it's about the children & their safety. when i divorced him, he wasn't drinking!!! that's NOT why i divorced him. once he started drinking again, you bet your sweet ass i was very concerned. he is a VERY brittle diabetic who has an insulin pump. his doc has told him over & over NOT to drink. he's gone into several diabetic coma's while DRIVING!! then his license is suspended & he STILL drove the boys around. so excuse the hell outta me for wanting to protect them from what could potentially be a deadly situation. oh wait but it's my fault.