Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago

Feb. 14, 2010
Poll: 9 Out of 10 Would Remarry Spouse 
CBS News Poll on Love & Marriage Says Americans Split on Whether Love at First Sight Is Real

Married Americans expressed few regrets about their choice of spouse and overwhelmingly said they would do it all again, according to a new CBS News poll.

Nine out of ten (90%) married Americans would marry their spouse again, a percentage which has barely changed since 1995 (when it was 93%).

However, men were more likely to say they would marry their spouse again than their wives: 95% of men would marry their wives again, compared to 85% of women who said they would re-marry their husbands.

The total percentage of those who would marry their spouse again was also influenced by income: 95% of those earning more than $50,000 a year vs. 83% of those making less.

When asked to pick what is most important in a successful relationship, about half picked "Respect" (49%), followed by "Trust" (37%), and a "Sense of humor" (10%). "Sex" was picked by 2%. "Money" recorded 0%.

Despite what Hollywood rom-coms may have us believe, Americans are split as to whether love at first sight exists.

Forty-six percent said they believe in love at first sight, while 50% say they do not.

And despite what marketers of movie romances may think about their audiences, men are slightly more likely than women to believe (47% vs. 44%).



I'm firmly convinced (and research bears it out ) that men, on average, love their wives deeper than their wives love them. Women's love tends to be more focused on their children. I've talked to too many women and read too many personals ads to believe otherwise. (As my friend Nicole said to me, "I love my son more than I'll ever love any man.") That's not to say men's or women's love is better or worse; it's just different. And in some ways, men's fixation on their women makes them a little pathetic and needy, as plenty of studies have shown that the unhappiest people are divorced men.

It turns out, as my wife's sexuality text book points out, that most people are reasonably happy in their marriages and have a positive opinion of marriage. It's a myth that 50 percent of American marriages end in divorce; actually, only about 35 percent of first-time marriages overall end in divorce, only 25 percent of marriages between couples 25 years of age and older, and only 10 percent of marriages between couples who complete a course in premarital counseling prior to tying the knot. Contrary to common conception, the American divorce rate peaked in the 1980s and has been declining ever since. It was never really 50 percent to begin with; that figure was always the result of shoddy statistics. (Just because 2 million marriages and 1 million divorces happen to occur in the same year doesn't mean half the marriages ended. This figure never took into account that people who have been married multiple times are more likely to get divorced, and it was these multiple marriages that skewed the figures upwards.) On average, if you make it past the magical milestones of 5 and 20 years, when the most divorces occur, you're more than likely going to stick it out till death does you part.

I hope you all had a happy Valentines Day. I ruined my sweet wife's best-laid plans by coming down with a severe case of tonsillitis and being bedridden the entire weekend. Poor girl.
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dfosterf
14 years ago
Valentine's day?
Porforis
14 years ago
Thanks for the article, Rourke. Something uplifting for a change. Best of luck to you and yours 🙂
Zero2Cool
14 years ago
So, 10% of married people learned from their mistake.

Neat.
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Formo
14 years ago
Nice find Nonstop.

After serious consideration, I, too, am one of the 9 that would remarry my spouse knowing what I know now.. Long story, and I'm not going to delve into it on any sort of public forum, but we have had our rough roads. And even though things are great now, we are not out of the woods by any means. 'No sacrifice, no glory' as the saying goes.
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Thanks to TheViking88 for the sig!!
Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago
I know what you mean, Formo. I'll be the first to admit my marriage isn't perfect. Hell, there have been more than a couple of times when I wanted to kill the bitch. But would I hesitate to remarry her if I had to do it all over again? No.

Well, not for more than a minute or two anyway. ;)

As she wrote in the Valentine's Day card she gave me:

As we've said before, if we can go through what we already have, we can make it through anything. We have a very unique and wonderful marriage -- sort of like you.

I appreciate all you do for me, in life and in the bedroom. ;)

Now close your eyes and I'll cover you with kisses. XXXXXXXX

"Kat" wrote:



I find it ironic that in six years, she and I have been through hardships and tribulations my parents could never have imagined, yet we're still happy together, while my parents, who have endured virtually no substantive outside adversity of any kind, have hated each other's guts for 30 years and counting.
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Formo
14 years ago
I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about life without my wife. I'm not saying I don't love her, or that there's some sort of condition on my love.. There isn't. There is only 3 people outside of our marriage that know what we've gone through. But, like I said.. There is no glory when we don't make any sacrifice. There's times when I have to remind myself of that, too. lol

It's kinda crazy, because we've only been married for 2.5 years and we both feel like we've gone through and survived crap that couples that have been married for 10+ years didn't survive. I'm not sure how accurate that is, but it's how we feel, anyway.
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Thanks to TheViking88 for the sig!!
Rockmolder
14 years ago

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about life without my wife. I'm not saying I don't love her, or that there's some sort of condition on my love.. There isn't. There is only 3 people outside of our marriage that know what we've gone through. But, like I said.. There is no glory when we don't make any sacrifice. There's times when I have to remind myself of that, too. lol

It's kinda crazy, because we've only been married for 2.5 years and we both feel like we've gone through and survived crap that couples that have been married for 10+ years didn't survive. I'm not sure how accurate that is, but it's how we feel, anyway.

"Formo" wrote:



Sounds like a good thing, if you survived all that. Same goes for Rourke, of course. It might be better to get hit hard at the start of your relationship, know whether you and your partner will stay together in tougher times. It can only grow from there on out. It takes the distrust out of the relationship.

Or so I can imagine.
Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago
You might very well have a good point, Detlev. Actually, I've argued something similar in the past.

In any case, it gives me an excuse to tell my mother to fuck off when she tells me that I don't know what marriage is really like. As Jesus said, "Physician, heal yourself." If what you're doing isn't making you happy, for the love of God, don't try to export it.
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Formo
14 years ago

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about life without my wife. I'm not saying I don't love her, or that there's some sort of condition on my love.. There isn't. There is only 3 people outside of our marriage that know what we've gone through. But, like I said.. There is no glory when we don't make any sacrifice. There's times when I have to remind myself of that, too. lol

It's kinda crazy, because we've only been married for 2.5 years and we both feel like we've gone through and survived crap that couples that have been married for 10+ years didn't survive. I'm not sure how accurate that is, but it's how we feel, anyway.

"Rockmolder" wrote:



Sounds like a good thing, if you survived all that. Same goes for Rourke, of course. It might be better to get hit hard at the start of your relationship, know whether you and your partner will stay together in tougher times. It can only grow from there on out. It takes the distrust out of the relationship.

Or so I can imagine.

"Formo" wrote:



Yeah, that's a big part of it. Good point, and that's something we said, too.

I've always known what I would do in rough times, as I've said before, divorce is never an option for me.. The 'hard' part is coming to grips that we don't have control over our partner's decisions/actions. For example, no matter how badly I'll fight for my marriage, if my wife doesn't want to continue the relationship, I can't make her want to love and/or stay with me. Of course, that's just an example, not real life.
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Thanks to TheViking88 for the sig!!
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