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Offline Zero2Cool  
#1 Posted : Thursday, January 24, 2013 8:34:07 AM(UTC)
Zero2Cool

Rank: Legend

Yahoo! Fantasy Football - Gold: 2009FleaFlicker Fantasy Football - Silver: 2010Yahoo! NCAA March Madness - Silver: 2011ESPN NCAA March Madness - Bronze: 2010Yahoo! NCAA March Madness - Bronze: 2013

United States
Joined: 10/13/2006(UTC)
Location: Green Bay, WI

Applause Given: 1,870
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  1. A computer doesn't care if you stick something inside them for your personal pleasure.(ie: a game disk)
  2. A computer doesn't get hangups if you spend loads of time with a woman
  3. A computer never says "you never bring me flowers anymore."
  4. A computer will never ask 'Does my bum look big in this?'
  5. A computers disposition remains the same all month
  6. Computers always come back for more!
  7. Computers always tell you when they have problems
  8. Computers appreciate it when you tie up the phone line with them
  9. Computers are also a good paper weight
  10. Computers are cheaper to run
  11. Computers are easy to turn on.
  12. Computers are happy for you not to wash & shave all weekend.
  13. Computers are happy if you connect them to another one, even the same type
  14. Computers are happy to have a picture of a newer model stuck next to them
  15. Computers are happy to show you pornography
  16. Computers are logical
  17. Computers are made to minimize the amount of time and effort inserted in achieving the "goal"
  18. Computers are not back seat drivers
  19. Computers are precise
  20. Computers can be partly upgraded
  21. Computers can be programmed to do something useful
  22. Computers can be taught not to pass on viruses
  23. Computers do exactly what you tell them to
  24. Computers do not use perfumes, they do not have bad smells!
  25. Computers don't ask for money
  26. Computers don't buy a new pair of shoes every month
  27. Computers don't eat all of the good stuff from your fridge first
  28. Computers don't eat your chocolate
  29. Computers don't expect you to be able to read their minds
  30. Computers don't fall asleep during Match of the Day
  31. Computers don't get crazy if you get up and walk away in mid-sentence
  32. Computers don't get jealous if you use another one
  33. Computers don't get ugly when they get old
  34. Computers don't get upset if you only use them for 30 seconds
  35. Computers don't get upset if you use them for 12 hours without a break
  36. Computers don't get upset when you go on holiday without them
  37. Computers don't have a compulsive urge to talk crap if they've got nothing to say
  38. Computers don't like shopping
  39. Computers don't make horrible dinners
  40. Computers don't mind if you never speak to them
  41. Computers don't mind you farting whilst you're using them
  42. Computers don't nag [except perhaps if they're running Vista ]
  43. Computers don't order stupid entree's in restaurants, then ask you to trade with them
  44. Computers don't say, "Not tonight darling, I have a headache".
  45. Computers don't think
  46. Computers don't try to introduce you to their parents
  47. Computers don't want pets or babies
  48. Computers don't watch mindless sit-coms on TV
  49. Computers don't bitch about their friends
  50. Computers don't have periods
  51. Computers don't require chocolate to make them happy
  52. Computers have good memory
  53. Computers give you another chance if the RAM goes bad
  54. Computers have more things to press
  55. Computers like being chained to a desk (some even have bondage ports built in)
  56. Computers like to play with each other for you
  57. Computers never leave you for your best friend
  58. Computers never smell of fish
  59. Computers play games or get serious when YOU want to
  60. Computers reboot much faster
  61. Computers stay the same size, even after 5 years
  62. Computers stay when you tell them too
  63. Computers treat your woman with the same respect as you
  64. Computers usually tell you when they have a virus
  65. Computers will accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy and be happy
  66. Computers will go down on you
  67. Computers will help you solve your problems
  68. Computers work better the more RAM you put in them
  69. It's easy to upgrade to a newer model
  70. It's not embarrassing to take a differently colored one to see your parents
  71. The old computer works just the same even after you've got a new model
  72. When your computer starts to smoke you can get another one
  73. Women usually have good hardware but bad software
  74. You can change computer hardware or software when you want to
  75. You can deal with computer outputs
  76. You can delete things you don't want your computer to remember
  77. You can invite lots of friends of both sexes to play with your computer all together and it won't complain
  78. You can name your computer anything you want
  79. You can share your computer with your friends
  80. You can stop for a beer break whilst using your computer, it just waits for you to come back
  81. You can switch off a computer
  82. You can turn on a computer, have a beer, watch the big match, and when you come back, it's still turned on
  83. You can turn the computer off when the footy's on
  84. You can turn the sound off
  85. You can upgrade your computers FAT partitions
  86. You can use your computer as many times as you want
  87. You don't get BLOND computers [Alien edit: yes you do, they're called Macs ]
  88. You don't need to continually tell your computer you love it
  89. You don't need to cook for computers
  90. You don't need to pay computers for adult fun
  91. You don't need to wine and dine a computer before you use it
  92. You don't need to remember your computers birthday or anniversary
  93. You only have to punch information into a computer once
  94. You're never embarrassed to show your computer to your parents, even when it's really old
  95. Your computer always looks good in the morning
  96. Your computer doesn't go home to mum if your office computer went down on you today
  97. Your computer is always a pleasure to turn on
  98. Your computer never makes you sleep in the wet spot
  99. Your computer will happily play crude adult games with you
  100. Your new computer doesn't mind using the old computers extras
  101. Your new computer is happy to sit on the old computers furniture
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