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Offline Zero2Cool  
#1 Posted : Wednesday, June 22, 2011 7:37:29 AM(UTC)
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what

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Offline Zero2Cool  
#2 Posted : Wednesday, June 22, 2011 7:39:20 AM(UTC)
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Offline wpr  
#3 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 8:35:02 AM(UTC)
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"You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em." Chesty Puller



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Offline wpr  
#4 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 8:39:04 AM(UTC)
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Arrf. My secret is out.


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"You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em." Chesty Puller



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Offline Pack93z  
#5 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 8:40:45 AM(UTC)
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The wolves will never lose sleep over the feelings of the sheep.

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Offline Pack93z  
#6 Posted : Thursday, June 23, 2011 9:01:10 AM(UTC)
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The wolves will never lose sleep over the feelings of the sheep.

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thanks Post received 1 applause.
sschind on 3/12/2013(UTC)
Offline wpr  
#7 Posted : Tuesday, January 29, 2013 9:08:47 AM(UTC)
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I was taking my new baby girl to the supermarket for the first time. I dressed her in pink from head to toe. At the store I placed her down in the shopping cart and put all the groceries and such around her.

Getting to the checkout line I noticed a small boy and his mother ahead of me. The boy was crying and begging for some special treat. "He wants some candy or gum and his mother won't let him have any", I thought.

Then I heard his mother's reply, "No!" she said looking in my direction. "You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one."
"You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em." Chesty Puller



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Offline Cheesey  
#8 Posted : Tuesday, January 29, 2013 9:57:56 AM(UTC)
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I was thinking of filming a cooking show starring men who sailed the seven seas, and what cookware they used to prepare their meals.

The name of the show?

"Pyrex of the Carribean"

(Yes....i made that lame joke up!)Big Grin
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Offline wpr  
#9 Posted : Friday, March 15, 2013 8:04:29 AM(UTC)
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Beware of older men......


A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday.

She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but
how old do you think I am."

"About 32," is the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the
very same question.

The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."

The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on
her way down the street.

She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning
question.

The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home,
she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was
young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very
forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then,
and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best
of her.

She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very
slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently
pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against
each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she asks, "Okay, okay....How old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,
"Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you
tell?"

The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't." she says.

"I was behind you at McDonalds..."
"You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em." Chesty Puller



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thanks Post received 1 applause.
JustinAVA182 on 3/15/2013(UTC)
Offline JustinAVA182  
#10 Posted : Friday, March 15, 2013 8:37:23 AM(UTC)
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I got this one from the radio awhile back..

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at
him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, "Do you know me? "To which she replies, "I think you' re the father of one of my kids.

"Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor Party that I made love to
on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery? "She looks into his eyes and says calmly.........

"No, I'm your son's teacher."
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thanks Post received 1 applause.
wpr on 3/15/2013(UTC)
Offline SINCITYCHEEZE  
#11 Posted : Saturday, March 23, 2013 8:00:04 AM(UTC)
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Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Yuma ,

Arizona . They turn a corner and see a sign that says,

"Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents." They look at each other

and then go in, thinking, This is too good to be true.



The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the

room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What 'll it

be, gentlemen?"



There 's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a

martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced

martinis - shaken, not stirred - and says, "That 'll be 10

cents each, please."



The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at

each other. They can 't believe their good luck. They pay the

40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the

bartender again saying, "That 's 40 cents, please." They pay

the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.

They 've each had two martinis and haven 't even spent a

dollar yet.



Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve

martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"



"I 'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says,

"and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the

Lottery jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this

place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer - it 's

all the same."



"Wow! That 's some story!" one of the men says.



As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can 't help

noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don 't

have any drinks in front of them and haven 't ordered

anything the whole time they 've been there.



Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men

asks the bartender, "What 's with them?"


The bartender says, "They 're retirees from Wisconsin,

They 're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price.
Wisconsin Born,Packer Bred
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Offline Formo  
#12 Posted : Saturday, March 23, 2013 4:16:36 PM(UTC)
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GUComics.com
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Thanks to TheViking88 for the sig!!
Offline dfosterf  
#13 Posted : Wednesday, March 27, 2013 5:31:30 AM(UTC)
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Pulled Over for Speeding














A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding...

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI.

Officer: Can I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: Oh, it's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: Yeah. Oh, but come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove compartment when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: You have a gun in there?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the lady who owns the car. She's in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the trunk?!?

The officer tells the man to hold on, backs off carefully, and calls for backup. Quickly, the car is surrounded by police, and the captain approaches the driver to handle the situation.

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure, Officer.

Captain: Hmm, this license is just fine. Whose car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open the glove compartment, please, so I can see if there's a gun in there?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

He opens it, and sure enough, there's no gun.

Captain: Would you mind if we opened the trunk? I was told you said there's a body in there.

Driver: No problem.

The trunk is opened, nothing in there but a spare tire.

Captain: The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove compartment, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the kid told you I was speeding, too!

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damn skippy I'm an owner. I currently own a full .00001924537805515393 % of the Green Bay Packers.



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