Discussion Board
Smokey
  • Smokey
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
2020-11-18T03:24:10Z
This is not a political or any kind of preaching thread. It is my hope to develop a friendly discussion about the upcoming holiday/s. With the Thanksgiving holiday just ahead, many of us have family traditions. For many of us we gather family/friends and feast on one of our most "sacred" yearly holidays. However this year we are faced with a most deadly global pandemic and I for one can not dismiss the real danger that gathering in even small groups presents.

Here in Central Va. the weather is forecasted to be Partly Sunny with a high of 61 degrees F. Pleasant enough to spend most of my visit to my brothers home seated on the patio drinking Bourbon and Ginger Ale and enjoying holiday snack treats. Distancing will be easy during this time before we sit down to eat together. In years past Thanksgiving Dinner has seen up to 16 people, but I don't anticipate more than 8 or 9 people that can easily be seated at their very large dining table. Family only this year with the addition of my two nephew's fiancée's.

Regardless of opinions, I will try to wear a mask as much as practical. I'll also try to wash my hands a few times while there and I'll also have a small personal size bottle of Purell hand sanitizer that I'll use discretely. That is how I plan to attend the holiday and hopefully everyone will be healthy following the day. I have to be very careful because I already have Stage 4 COPD and contracting the virus would be a death sentence. Scared, your damn straight I'm scared, but still I must not let my family down.

I've tried to voice my thoughts on this years family gathering, The risk may be as great for you or maybe even greater. Please add your voice, concerns, opinions, etc. and please let's keep the discussion friendly. Thanks !
Cheesey
2020-11-18T03:43:03Z
It won’t change my holiday one bit.
There’s only my wife, me and our chihuahua.
But for you with large families and/or friends, please be careful.
earthquake
2020-11-18T05:53:26Z
I'm a bit of a hermit honestly so the holidays are mostly for my wife and her family. This year has been especially hard on her with two elderly parents, her mom suffers from Alzheimer's (actually some other more rare type of dementia the doctors think) and has been in an assisted care facility for a number of years now. She hasn't been able to see her all year.

Her dad has health issues as well, some sort of degenerative muscle condition that is making it difficult for him to walk. He fell and hurt his back recently, and is going in for surgery soon. He's moving into a retirement home early next year and we have been helping him pack and clean out his house, and have been taking extra care to quarantine so we don't have to worry about getting him sick when we go over to help him. I work from home anyway and she has been able to do most of her work from home these past 8 months or so, so we've managed fairly well. I know many aren't so lucky.

We had intended to go to her father's house and cook him thanksgiving dinner. This is something that he took pride in doing every year until this when he is no longer physically able. But covid-19 cases are spiking here in Iowa and he decided to call it off. It's understandable, with schools back in session and relaxed regulations this late summer/fall, things are looking very bad at the moment. Most of the ICU beds here are already in use, and the last thing we want to do is get sick and clog up the system when there are people at high risk who will undoubtedly need to be treated.

My wife is worried that she won't get many more holiday seasons with her parents and spent a solid day crying into a few glasses of wine when father called off Thanksgiving. There's a sense of helplessness to the whole thing that makes me sick to my stomach. That said, we're going to try to make the best of it and cook a nice meal for just the two of us, and then probably put up the tree. There will be a glass or three of bourbon here as well.

We still have some hope for Christmas but I'm not sure at this rate. Anyway, if you're able to safely spend the holiday season with your loved ones, please enjoy and cherish it.
Smokey
  • Smokey
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
2020-11-18T06:31:47Z
Originally Posted by: earthquake 

I'm a bit of a hermit honestly so the holidays are mostly for my wife and her family. This year has been especially hard on her with two elderly parents, her mom suffers from Alzheimer's (actually some other more rare type of dementia the doctors think) and has been in an assisted care facility for a number of years now. She hasn't been able to see her all year.

Her dad has health issues as well, some sort of degenerative muscle condition that is making it difficult for him to walk. He fell and hurt his back recently, and is going in for surgery soon. He's moving into a retirement home early next year and we have been helping him pack and clean out his house, and have been taking extra care to quarantine so we don't have to worry about getting him sick when we go over to help him. I work from home anyway and she has been able to do most of her work from home these past 8 months or so, so we've managed fairly well. I know many aren't so lucky.

We had intended to go to her father's house and cook him thanksgiving dinner. This is something that he took pride in doing every year until this when he is no longer physically able. But covid-19 cases are spiking here in Iowa and he decided to call it off. It's understandable, with schools back in session and relaxed regulations this late summer/fall, things are looking very bad at the moment. Most of the ICU beds here are already in use, and the last thing we want to do is get sick and clog up the system when there are people at high risk who will undoubtedly need to be treated.

My wife is worried that she won't get many more holiday seasons with her parents and spent a solid day crying into a few glasses of wine when father called off Thanksgiving. There's a sense of helplessness to the whole thing that makes me sick to my stomach. That said, we're going to try to make the best of it and cook a nice meal for just the two of us, and then probably put up the tree. There will be a glass or three of bourbon here as well.

We still have some hope for Christmas but I'm not sure at this rate. Anyway, if you're able to safely spend the holiday season with your loved ones, please enjoy and cherish it.



I don't pretend to know anything at all about your situation, but I had a thought. You could, should you choose to and can afford it, many grocery stores/restaurants offer full holiday dinners for curbside pickup or delivery. Cooking at home is not the only option. Disposable plates, cups, and tableware also work well. Even KFC would work, after all being together is the real Thanksgiving purpose.

Do/don't follow my suggestion, but if you like the idea, then don't delay in placing your order ASAP or confirming that the business will be open. Also purchasing plates, tableware, cups, wine, etc. ahead of time is also very advisable too.

Have your own alternate Idea/s, great but don't wait until the last second to act on it.

Best of Luck
Cheesey
2020-11-18T22:57:04Z
Both of my parents have already died, my dad in 1974 and my mom in 1990.
And my wife’s parents, her mom in 1986 and dad in 1994.
One of our most precious memories was when we had my mom and mother and father in law over for thanksgiving in 1985.
I cooked prime rib , liver and onions ( my wife and mom in law loved it) and all the fixins!
I was nervous, as it was the first time I ever cooked for all of them.
My father in law, a tough as nails WW2 veteran, who never gave away compliments, said it was the best thanksgiving meal he ever had.
If you have the chance, make those memories if you have the chance. Don’t take any minute you have for granted.
Earthquake, please tell your wife she has my sympathy. Dementia takes away your loved one long before they pass away.
If she can at least talk with her dad, make sure she has the chance to do so.
I wish I could have 5 minutes to talk with my dad. There is so much I wish I could say to him. So much I had to apologize for, for being a bonehead sometimes. So much I wish I could tell him I love him.
I did tell him the night before he died, but it just wasn’t enough.

If there is someone you need to tell, don’t hesitate to do so. Don’t leave things unsaid.
Zero2Cool
2020-11-18T23:51:31Z
We're buying food for Paul's Pantry. My girlfriend wants us to go to her parents for Thanksgiving. I offered that we do it via Zoom, but that was not met with much excitement as I had offering it. So, we'll go there.

I'm not a germaphobe by definition, but I try to avoid touching things unnecessarily already, so I'm not too concerned.

I did express that her parents are exactly the age group that we need to protect. Apparently her parents are aware of this and have little to no care.

They would rather have Thanksgiving and risk dying from COVID than miss out on time with family when they could die in a car accident or heart attack or some other untimely demise. Sure, I get where they are coming from, but I think if you're gonna play Russian roulette, why not take out all the bullets to increase your chances, ya know?
Smokey
  • Smokey
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
2020-11-19T00:00:32Z
I've discovered that many here are fine cooks. I feel confident that should any need holiday help with cooking (from Turkey to Deserts) that help will be offered. Ask, there could be solutions that you did not consider before.

😎
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
2020-11-19T16:27:52Z
Our Thanksgiving has been cancelled. My son's in laws have the sniffles. We will probably invite our daughter to come over instead. She's single and I don't want her to sit alone at home.
Smokey
  • Smokey
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
2020-11-19T19:49:11Z
Originally Posted by: wpr 

Our Thanksgiving has been cancelled. My son's in laws have the sniffles. We will probably invite our daughter to come over instead. She's single and I don't want her to sit alone at home.



Small immediate family gatherings over hosting a family reunion for Thanksgiving is gaining an ever stronger voice. Most can sacrifice one holiday season to ensure their family's safety. Most should understand why they have not been invited to Thanksgiving Dinner this year. I don't say don't invite anyone, but extreme care should be used as Aunt Joan or Uncle Jack who live alone and are no danger need not be left out. Inviting the neighbors or your daughters new boyfriend or your auto mechanic should be highly discouraged.

Point is this is not a good time to risk your family's safety for a social affair. We can enjoy our traditional holiday, but let's not be so arrogant about the pandemic. Corona virus does not care if you are rich/poor/(R) or (D)/ or what color your skin is, it is an equal opportunity killer.

Have a Safe Thanksgiving Holiday
Smokey
  • Smokey
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
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