Thanks to everyone who has responded so far.
I'll respond at more length later, but I'm going to try to avoid responding too much because this is much more about me trying to figure out what others think than trying to shape the discussion in "my ways". (VR: you got it almost right: but I don't see you as my students, but as my teachers.)
Just a couple words (ok slightly more than a couple...you know me!) of clarification of the parenthetical which concluded my OP: My frustration with "non-listeners" really isn't you guys. One of the (many) things I admire about this place is that it is made up of people who consistently pay attention to what the other person is saying.
No, my frustration comes from the so-called "professionals" in my work life. People who are supposedly in "listening" professions ("teachers" and "educators").
Example: As some of you know, I was on leave from teaching for two years. Since I came back, last August, I filed my required report from my leave with my dean and department chair and sent copy to editor of a college publication, all as required by the "faculty handbook." With the exception of one person (who has been a collaborator for several years now),
no one has asked me about what I did, much less been interested in conversation about it.
(I did have positive response from a sparse crowd at a public lecture I gave a couple weeks ago, but that, 7 months after my return, was the first time anyone asked me anything substantive about what I've been doing.)
Oh, sure, several asked "how was the leave?" the first time they saw me in the hall. We're a real polite bunch here that way. But other than that, nothing. Not one person in this place supposedly dedicated to learning.
Now I know for a fact that some of my educational ideas are half-baked, and others are doubtless worse. But what would be hilarious if it weren't so damn painful is that a few years ago, my institution decided that I was worth tenuring despite my propensity for flakiness. Yet when it comes to the place where I've focused most of my professional attention -- in terms of my "research/scholarship" and in terms of "putting my ideas into practice in the classroom" -- those who tenured me pay next to no attention. And when they do pay attention, it's merely polite "there he goes again."
But all that is really just an aside to this thread's main question. I'm not so much looking for advice on getting people to listen to me -- though, naturally, that is part of it -- as I am collecting information about how others approach listening. Information from people who, unlike the people who frustrate me at work, listen more than the average -- all of you. Information on how and when you think people listen.
So please, keep talking. I'm listening.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)