Last Tuesday, (before Thanksgiving) my wife conned me into working out on the school playground before school. The regular lady was on a trip. We had had a nice blanket of snow the night before....a 6 inch blanket.
One of the nice things for many of the kids that live on "The Hill" above school, is when there is snow they carry those roll up plastic sleds, and when they get to the last 150 foot drop to the playground, they get on and have a ride down to school. There are rules in place and pretty well followed. My job was to see everyone survived, patch up cuts and splint broken bones. Everything was going nicely, at least in my opinion, when someone yelled out, "Lookout below, Isaiah is coming down"
Just the mention of his name sent shivers up every ones back, mostly mine, as I knew the damage he could do in an uncontrolled speed run on a 75 degree slope. Picture Gilbert Brown in his heaviest prime, then make him 8 years old. Get the picture?
Before I could holler up to him, he was on his way. At first, I thought he'd go kinda slow, but like a battleship, he gained speed.......and more speed.
I yelled for everyone in his path to clear out, but knowing Isaiah, his path took up most of Western Montana.
The sled and Gilbert, err, Isaiah, hit the bottom runout at about Mach 1. It wasn't Mach II as there was no sonic boom as he passed by, but the trees all sort of bent his direction as he passed. Directly in his path were two 8th grade girls, who at the last second saw the incoming train barreling right at them. One managed to dive out of the way at the last second, but the second girl didn't. Bammmmm! Collision not avoided and now Isaiah was in deep trouble. Not from me but Taylor, the girl he hit. This is one very cute girl you absolutely do not want to mess with.
She picked herself up, not injured, went over to the sled and simply grabbed herself a bundle of winter jacket, snowpants and 8 year old scared crapless kid, and in one movement, picked him up and carried him 25 feet and deposited him face first in a snowbank.
I was laughing so hard I was crying. When I went inside the principal asked me what was so funny. I said, "you wouldn't believe it."
"Does it have to do with Isaiah?" he asked.
"Yep!" I replied
"I don't want to hear it. That kids' like an Abrams tank gone beserk."
"You got that right, Dave."
Anyone for a Weenie Roast?