TheEngineer
15 years ago
So every week I'll try and come up with some short observations of how players performed, through the use of superlatives, unjustifiable hyperbole and all manner of grammatically questionable phrasing.


Philbin on Jennings:
"He can't get hurt, so I wasn't worried at all." That's right. It's official. He's finally returned, and He makes a pretty darn good WR, too.

Brian Brohm's performance:
The improvement in Brohm's game is the same type of improvement one finds in placing an scented candle next to a gigantic bowl of turds. Even if it has a sickly sweet aroma of processed bratwursts complemented by a springtime lavender essence, you can't help but notice a gigantic bowl of turds everytime you look.

Coincidentally, I think Zero would have preferred to be stuck in this room than the airport lounge in PA.

Aaron Rodgers' performance:
Hyperinflation is setting in because Mr. Rodgers' neighbourhood is growing at a phenomenal rate. If I were to measure his performance by gesticulating my arms, the closest action that explains how well Rodgers played is to constantly punch myself in the face to wake up from such a wonderful dream.

Tyrell Sutton:
I thought Sutton is a lock to make this roster. Not the type of dingy little gold locks you use on airline baggage, but at least one of those bicycle locks that for one reason or another, come wrapped in this plastic tubing that is begging you to try and cut it with a handsaw, knowing full well that you'd struggle to make it through the thick metal chains, sitting there all lock-like laughing its intimidating lock-laugh at you. But then Philbin and Slocum came in with a pair of hedge trimmers with their apathetic response to Sutton's performance and completely destroyed it. So now that Sutton is no longer a lock, I suppose he can go back to being a running back and make the team that way.

Charles Woodson:
He played lights out today. Just imagine how well he'd do with the lights on! He was magnificent in the same way that COWtalian ad wasn't.

Kevin Greene, LB coach:
It's a shame that his momentary loss of muscular control occurred at the same time Kampman was returning a fumble because many people mistakenly thought of it as a moment of joyous celebration. No grown man would actually submit himself to such dubious bodily movements under his own power. This embarrassing jumping-jacks-like affliction could not have come at a worse time.

Feel free to post any observations.
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Scottish_Packer
15 years ago
Philbin and Slocum's comments on Sutton were sorta, "who? Suttron? Suppon? oohhhh Sutton, that little guy...... yeah I suppose you could say he did alright." Okaaayy.... quickly scrap all those optimistic articles on Tyrell Sutton, it's the practice squad for him
UserPostedImage
Rockmolder
15 years ago
Lol. Nicely done, Engineer. +1.
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bboystyle (1h) : waiting for a pass rusher.
dfosterf (3h) : 5 minutes between picks in the 3rd
dfosterf (4h) : 3rd. Hate this phone
dfosterf (4h) : 4rd
dfosterf (4h) : 5 minutes in the 4
dfosterf (4h) : 7 minutes between picks in the 2nd round
Martha Careful (4h) : Sorry to bitch, but the headline writers in that section absolutely mislead, or don't know how to read. It is maddening
Martha Careful (4h) : No thanks. Not a dependable guy to be in the right place and run the right route. Dumb as a box of rocks.
Zero2Cool (4h) : Losing 2nd round pick for a one year rental, not ideal. Especially a headcase.
TheKanataThrilla (5h) : Pickens for Jaire may be interesting. Definitely not sure we want Pickens long term.
dfosterf (5h) : No.Absolutely not
Zero2Cool (5h) : NO NO NO NO NO NO!!1 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
dhazer (5h) : scenario: Our main prospects are off the board when our pick comes around, do we just throw a 2nd round pick at Pittsburgh for Pickens
TheKanataThrilla (5h) : Hopefully she had some comfort that her son will be live his dream when she passed away. Sad news.
Mucky Tundra (7h) : Damn that sucks
Zero2Cool (7h) : News about Derrick Harmon mom, saddening.
Zero2Cool (8h) : Mark Murphy: "I predict we will trade up once and down twice."
beast (9h) : Rip the Packers and getting the fans yelling and booing him
beast (9h) : Super competitive Bears fan and WWE "superstar" wrestler, Seth Rollins is supposed to announce a Bears pick and absolutely rip Packers
packerfanoutwest (23h) : Golden
beast (23h) : I want DT Derrick Harmon, Oregon
Mucky Tundra (25-Apr) : And I can't be looking at my phone
Mucky Tundra (25-Apr) : Hey I'm at work lol
Zero2Cool (24-Apr) : btw, new site chat won't delete auto like
Zero2Cool (24-Apr) : because everyone left like wimps
TheKanataThrilla (24-Apr) : I am wondering if there is some type of autoclear when there isn't activity after a certain amount of time.
Mucky Tundra (24-Apr) : What happened in the chat? Me and Zero posted a few things earlier and they're all gone
dfosterf (24-Apr) : 10-15 min bs plus flyover
dfosterf (24-Apr) : Yes
Zero2Cool (24-Apr) : 7pm is when this kicks off????
buckeyepackfan (24-Apr) : I told him. IT'S VONTE MACK , no matter what!
buckeyepackfan (24-Apr) : He asked me who I thought The Browns were taking.
buckeyepackfan (24-Apr) : 2. Would of had to wear Browns gear all week. NOPE I'll watch from my living room.
buckeyepackfan (24-Apr) : He wanted to know if I would go. 2 things, would have had to fly from Detroit to Green Bay. Nope
buckeyepackfan (24-Apr) : All expense paid trip to the draft. He will be in the Browns section. I told him to say hi to J-10VE for me 😃😃i
buckeyepackfan (24-Apr) : For a call from my nephew, he won an sllexp
TheKanataThrilla (24-Apr) : Hope to see everyone in the Chat tonight!!! Go Pack Go!!!
TheKanataThrilla (24-Apr) : Jeanty would be a great pick-up for the Bears. I see Warren mocked to them as well who I think would be a great selection.
Zero2Cool (24-Apr) : GameDay Chat is open. Posting bits an tids in there.
Zero2Cool (24-Apr) : Excellent Source: The Bears have a deal in place to move up to 5 if Jeanty is there.
Zero2Cool (24-Apr) : Probably not until 10pm will be making pick
dfosterf (24-Apr) : But it is still not tonight. Lol
wpr (24-Apr) : Today is finally here.
dfosterf (24-Apr) : I should have put it in quotes
dfosterf (24-Apr) : It is the title of a you tube video.
dfosterf (24-Apr) : I'm not assuming anything
beast (24-Apr) : If they aren't doing it, then why are you assuming they know how to do it?
dfosterf (23-Apr) : Mackelvie
dfosterf (23-Apr) : Michael Macelvie- NFL teams know how to draft- Why don"t they?
dfosterf (23-Apr) : Youtube
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