TheEngineer
16 years ago
So every week I'll try and come up with some short observations of how players performed, through the use of superlatives, unjustifiable hyperbole and all manner of grammatically questionable phrasing.


Philbin on Jennings:
"He can't get hurt, so I wasn't worried at all." That's right. It's official. He's finally returned, and He makes a pretty darn good WR, too.

Brian Brohm's performance:
The improvement in Brohm's game is the same type of improvement one finds in placing an scented candle next to a gigantic bowl of turds. Even if it has a sickly sweet aroma of processed bratwursts complemented by a springtime lavender essence, you can't help but notice a gigantic bowl of turds everytime you look.

Coincidentally, I think Zero would have preferred to be stuck in this room than the airport lounge in PA.

Aaron Rodgers' performance:
Hyperinflation is setting in because Mr. Rodgers' neighbourhood is growing at a phenomenal rate. If I were to measure his performance by gesticulating my arms, the closest action that explains how well Rodgers played is to constantly punch myself in the face to wake up from such a wonderful dream.

Tyrell Sutton:
I thought Sutton is a lock to make this roster. Not the type of dingy little gold locks you use on airline baggage, but at least one of those bicycle locks that for one reason or another, come wrapped in this plastic tubing that is begging you to try and cut it with a handsaw, knowing full well that you'd struggle to make it through the thick metal chains, sitting there all lock-like laughing its intimidating lock-laugh at you. But then Philbin and Slocum came in with a pair of hedge trimmers with their apathetic response to Sutton's performance and completely destroyed it. So now that Sutton is no longer a lock, I suppose he can go back to being a running back and make the team that way.

Charles Woodson:
He played lights out today. Just imagine how well he'd do with the lights on! He was magnificent in the same way that COWtalian ad wasn't.

Kevin Greene, LB coach:
It's a shame that his momentary loss of muscular control occurred at the same time Kampman was returning a fumble because many people mistakenly thought of it as a moment of joyous celebration. No grown man would actually submit himself to such dubious bodily movements under his own power. This embarrassing jumping-jacks-like affliction could not have come at a worse time.

Feel free to post any observations.
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Scottish_Packer
16 years ago
Philbin and Slocum's comments on Sutton were sorta, "who? Suttron? Suppon? oohhhh Sutton, that little guy...... yeah I suppose you could say he did alright." Okaaayy.... quickly scrap all those optimistic articles on Tyrell Sutton, it's the practice squad for him
UserPostedImage
Rockmolder
16 years ago
Lol. Nicely done, Engineer. +1.
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dfosterf (2h) : I do very much appreciate when Beast and others pick up my slack 😊
dfosterf (2h) : I accept Beast's admonishment regarding my failure to link stuff I reference. I simply never learned to link from my cell phone.
beast (3h) : That's not what your she said 😌, she said keep going 😏
Mucky Tundra (6h) : Anything over 4 hours means he needs to get to the hospital
Mucky Tundra (6h) : Someone might want to check on Hafley and make sure his erection has gone down
Zero2Cool (8h) : LaFleur texts "bleep me I cannot sit down"
Zero2Cool (8h) : YouTube has had me last hour or two lol
Mucky Tundra (8h) : Ugh this trade happened right as my shift started and it's killing me
Zero2Cool (8h) : Parsons wore 23 in high school.
Zero2Cool (8h) : Packers just cost Lions more money with Hutchinson too huh
Zero2Cool (10h) : That is fair by me.
buckeyepackfan (10h) : Kenny Clark is the player, 2 1st rnd picks
Zero2Cool (10h) : umm... what?
wpr (10h) : I am stunned
Mucky Tundra (10h) : RICKEY SCOOPS WAS RIGHT AGAIN!!!
Mucky Tundra (10h) : ITS HAPPENING
buckeyepackfan (10h) : DEAL IS DONE
buckeyepackfan (10h) : MICAH IS COMING TO GREEN BAY!!!!!!!!!
wpr (17h) : Me do-ed it gooderly,
Zero2Cool (28-Aug) : Bahah, I was like WTF why isn't anyone posting on PP.com ... oops no one has permissions
dfosterf (27-Aug) : tell her I reckon
dfosterf (27-Aug) : Micah Robinson cut. Probable PS player tomorrow. Has to call mom back and t
Zero2Cool (27-Aug) : New site so much better. Might make switch and deal with it.
dfosterf (27-Aug) : Mecole Hardman to our practice squad
dfosterf (27-Aug) : Nick Nieman from Texans our 5th linebacker. Special teams signing
TheKanataThrilla (27-Aug) : Looks like we signed Clayton Tune as QB3
wpr (27-Aug) : TKT people lose their minds over QB3. Point is almost none of them are ready that's why they are on the PS and other teams don't take them.
TheKanataThrilla (27-Aug) : Unfortunately he doesn't seem ready to be an emergency QB.
TheKanataThrilla (27-Aug) : As a Canadian and a follower of Canadian University football. I am rooting for him
dfosterf (27-Aug) : I bet a lot of us will follow the Taylor Elgersma journey with interest. Personally, got a Kurt Warner vibe goin' on. I like him
TheKanataThrilla (27-Aug) : Not sure if either will be claimed though.
TheKanataThrilla (27-Aug) : Tune or Hooker would make sense
dfosterf (27-Aug) : Clayton Tune cut by the Cards? Don't know if that's the guy, we shall see
TheKanataThrilla (27-Aug) : Per Bill Huber, the Packers will not be bringing back Taylor Elgersma or Sean Clifford on the practice squad, so a new third quarterback
Mucky Tundra (27-Aug) : Schefter must have deleted his tweet
dfosterf (27-Aug) : Hopefully Jerry reaches under the seat cushions and ashtrays of his jet and scrapes up the 45 million apr and spares us further nonsense
dfosterf (27-Aug) : Have to admit the PO'd Cowboy fan videos would be fun to watch. Problem with draft picks is half their fanbase barely knows what that is
beast (27-Aug) : I think Cowboys fans are ready to get their pitch forks and burning sticks if Jerry were to trade Micah
dfosterf (27-Aug) : If Jerry traded Micah to GB, here in northern Va. they would have to quick build yet another data center to handle the internet hate traffic
Zero2Cool (27-Aug) : its signing and trades that you don't hear about, other then announced
Zero2Cool (27-Aug) : If you hear rumors about Packers sign or trade, won't happen. Not how they work
dfosterf (27-Aug) : 19 players in a contract year. Jones called loss to us worst loss in Cowboy history. Forget Parsons trade. Not happenin' Cap'n
packerfanoutwest (27-Aug) : The Packers, meanwhile, are the youngest team in the league for the third consecutive year.
dfosterf (27-Aug) : That it was darkest before the dawn in Bengals and Commanders before they got deals done
Zero2Cool (27-Aug) : what is Schefter saying?
dfosterf (27-Aug) : He was getting Dorito infusion therapy
dfosterf (27-Aug) : He's outta shape. Why, just the other day I saw him splayed out on the trainers table
Mucky Tundra (27-Aug) : Parsons has followed Rasheed Walker on Twitter. Quite the choice
Mucky Tundra (27-Aug) : Kuhn is a former player who works for the team, if somethings going down, he would be close to it
Mucky Tundra (27-Aug) : @kuhnj30 Micah Freaking Parsons
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