"THIS....IS......OZAUKEE IDOL. I'm Syran Breacrest and we're here today interviewing the hands on favorite to win Ozaukee Idol this year. Welcome Breezey."
"It's Cheesey.....and thank you for having me again this year."
"Yeh, yeh, whatever they call you. Now you finished 4th last year, but as we all remember, there were only 3 competitors. How'd you finish 4th out of 3?"
Cheesey: "Remember Esther and Estelle, the Siamese Twins? They counted them as two contestants as they each sang a different song....and at the same time no less. I was screwed after that."
Syran: "Well Wheezey, what are you going to do different this year to give yourself a chance to be in the finals?"
Cheesey: "It's CHEESEY, and for starters I'm going to punch your lights out right on stage, then take out Simon, Paula, Kara, and Randy. And if Esther and Estelle are there, they're going down too."
Syran: "Oooh, that sounds hostile Sneezey. I think you need to see Dr. Phil before going on the show. Maybe he can help with some of this built up anger."
Cheesey: "I did see Dr. Phil, and he said a good quick right hook followed by a left cross will get rid of all my aggressive behavior. AND, Mr. Idol Host, my name is Cheesey....that's C-H-E-E-S-E-Y!! What are you, some kind of idiot?"
Syran: OK Mr. Sleazey, one last question. What are you going to sing tonight to impress the judges and the audience? As I remember, your Rap version of 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall left the judges...well should we say unconscious."
Cheesey: Yeh, I went over the top on that one. I probably shouldn't have had a bottle of beer with each verse. Versus 1 to 10 were fine, but after that I had trouble remembering the words and kind of ad-libbed from verse 50 on."
Syran: "I'll say you ad-libbed. Roll Me Over in the Clover, Lay Me Down and Do It Again is not the Chorus to 99 Bottles of Beer On the Wall. And sitting on Paula's lap while you're singing that didn't go over to well with the producers."
Cheesey: Yeh, but Simon and Randy thought it was pretty cool. I got two thumbs up from both of them."
Syran: Err, Cheekey....those weren't their thumbs they were flashing you. Try two digits toward the center."
Cheesey: Wow! I thought those were awful long thumbs. Well, I gotta run and practice. Nice talking to you Syran."
Syran: "Wait, Beekey. What ARE you going to sing this year?"
Cheesey: "It's a little known German song about Bratwurst and I'm going to be eating Brats as I sing. This is going to be great. I'm a shoe-in for the title. Man, I can see it all now. Recording contracts, endorsements, TV appearances....maybe even sing at halftime of the Super Bowl."
Anyone for a Weenie Roast?