As some might be aware, mom passed away over five years ago. I didn't think much about it because no one said anything, but I thought she was buried in Sturgeon Bay. With that assumption and my refusal to enter the town, I figured why ask where she's buried until I'm ready to see her.

Mom isn't buried and this kind of hurts. One aspect, she doesn't have a final resting place and Two, it really seems to finalize that mom ... is truly gone.

My Grandpa Konrad died six years before I was born and mom was very close to him. My Grandma said we can bury mom next to him. I want a headstone for mom, but I am completely ignorant on this and have no clue where to start.

Do I buy the headstone, have it engraved and place it myself or do I have it shipped to the cemetery?

I know, I should call the headstone place, but I hate talking on the phone. I'll probably stop by the place on my way home from work today.

I'm just looking for some information to have an idea of what to ... I don't know. I just want to make sure I do this right.

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When he got the stone for Dad we went through the funeral home. I am sure there was an extra charge for this but it did make it easier for Mom.

She told them what she wanted and they showed her a proof before the stone was carved. The company that cut the stone also set it up at the grave site.

One of the things that I am amazed at it what you can put on a stone these days. I am still thinking like the old west. Name dates of birth and death. Maybe a RIP or something like that. They can do so much more. Dad and Mom have a photo on the back of the stone. They have all the kids names and DOB on there as well. It seemed kinda creepy to me so I asked Mom why. She said it makes it easier for people in 100 or 200 years to do genealogical searches.

My old pastor's wife took almost a year before she had a stone cut for him. She thought about it for a long time before she decided what it was going to look like.

The main suggestion is not to rush into it and make sure you have exactly what you want on the stone.
Second suggestion is besides talking to the stone cutter check with the cemetery office they may have a couple of different companies who do the work. It can't hurt to ask.

edit- some places have rules about what they will accept and will not for memorials. I know some cemeteries have all the stones set low so they are uniform. Some only want brass plaques so they can mow over them.

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I found a few photos of stones. i am not saying to do any of these just some ideas.





NO!!!!!



NO!!!

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Grandma said it was $500 to have her buried, and that's okay, I have that. But the headstone, I don't think we'll be able to go too fancy. I do want it done right though. And oddly enough, I am with you on the 'old west' thinking and all I know of the old west is from what I've read about and seen in movies.

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When my uncle passed years ago, I was asked to draw the art on the headstone. It was their request of me and it was extremely difficult to do, but it was a way for me to put some closure on it.

I drew the art, they copied it, altered the line depth in parts for engraving purposes.. and transfer it to the headstone. Contains his other standard information like date of birth and death, children and wife.. and the art.

So to answer your questions from my only experience in the arena.. where we bought the headstone, they did the engraving and placement at the cemetery.. I think it was a bit extra for our art to be added, but I have no idea of the cost to do so.

Family members say it is beautiful.. but I have never actually seen it in person even though it is only a couple miles away from my house. Me and cemetery's do not mix well.

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I was pretty sure you wouldn't be heading fancy. I wanted to mention in case you didn't think about it. People do different things when it has to do with Mom.

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That and the dislike I have for Sturgeon Bay and the memories of that town are why I just assumed she had been buried.




I want it to be something special. I just would prefer not having to pay for it until I'm six feet below myself.

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My wife went fancy on the headstone for our son. I have seen it once. Same burial plot that we put my father-in-law in. I was a pall-bearer for his(father-in-law's) funeral. I broke down and cried in front of all those people when I saw my son's tombstone. I'll never go back, except when they bury me. I say go simple. My wife doesn't go, either. The boy is inscribed in our hearts, not some fancy tombstone sitting in the middle of a cemetery, fwiw.