Sunday, I was going to see my grandparents before I picked up Keiana from her mothers. Shortly before I was to leave, I decided that I would go this coming Saturday because then I’ll have Keiana with me.

Yesterday was Keiana’s Farewell concert for school. Shortly before the concert started, I was trying to pass by time and checked Facebook. My brother Damien messaged me saying Grandpa had a massive heart attack at 10:30am and was pronounced dead at 11am.

I should have went.

Grandpa Konrad died July 4th, 1974, six years before I was born.
Grandpa Dugan lives in PA and I never met him, and family seems to have moved on from him for whatever reason. I did speak with him on the phone briefly about a year ago.
Grandpa Shaffer was the only Grandpa I ever knew. He had a great sense of humor, always had jokes. He had a sarcastic side to him, but he was always nice. Well, unless you’re a little boy and tell him to “hold his horses”, he didn’t like that too much. He used to do this trick where he’d pull his thumb off his hand and it would freak me out as a kid. When mom would bring us boys over he would take me to the basement and we’d build these clunky wooden airplanes. They never flew too well and he used to laugh and say “we’ll try again next time”.

I can’t stop thinking I should have just went. Why the hell didn't I just go? What else did I do that was more important?

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I'm sorry to hear of your loss Kevin. Your grandfather sounds like he was a great man, and I am sure his passing is difficult to bear. Don't kick yourself, as your intentions were good to include your daughter in your planned visit. That is a good thing, just wasn't able to happen. Be super thankful he didn't suffer and his passing was swift, and more importantly for all the great times you did share with him while you could.

Your message is helpful, and I thank you for passing it along during such a tough time. You have my prayers and sympathies.

Today was Grandpa's funeral. I was one of the pall bearers, never done that before. It was a nice service and it was interesting to hear the stories about Grandpa and all of the stories that I remembered. One of the pictures displayed was of me watering a tree that Grandpa and I just planted in their backyard when I was about five years old. That was pretty cool to see.

I have avoided Sturgeon Bay since the passing of mom and only been back three times, each time for a funeral. I guess I kinda of feel that if I don't go back I can still hold that thought that mom is there. Today I had Keiana with and I showed her around the town and shared memory after memory, which hurt so bad, but some stories made me smile too. It was cool seeing her get such a kick out of the town and everything it has to offer. She was really impressed with Bay Ship, where some of the Navy ships are built. And she really liked the parks.


Got up at 7am, drove up north and after the tour of the town we went back to Grandma's until about 8:30ish and then drove all the way back home. We didn't get back home til about 11pm. What a long long day.


We all miss you Grandpa ... 70 years just wasn't enough.

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Kevin I am sorry for your loss. Grandpa sounds like a great guy. P2W is right. You can't beat yourself up for the rest of your life about what you could have done. I know I did it for a long time with my father in law. I am still disappointed I didn't get to see him one more time. I kept sending my wife in to help him and Mom and she would stay for most of the week. On weekends she was tired and wanted to come home.

Wanting to take your daughter would have been a fantastic day.

You have your memories. Hang on to them. I'll bet you would be surprised to see how often you say the same thing grandpa use to say. You will notice it more when you have grand kids. Maybe you can get a little something to remember him by. In my front yard are ceder trees. They remind me of my grandfather as he would go out into the woods every Christmas and cut down a ceder tree. On special occasions I wear a tie that was my wife's grandfather's. I tell Rhonda I am sure someone bought it for him because it is not one of those old ugly ties he wore so often.

The best part of a funeral is telling the old stories all over again. They sure make me smile.

Keep in mind grandpa is not dead. He just went on ahead. Our whole life is just but a moment. You will get to hug him again in a little while.

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Kevin, I offer my condolences on your loss. I think of my grandpa often because of the great memories I have of him. As wpr said, hang onto your memories and stay strong.

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On Monday, my Uncle Steve was using Grandpa's phone to notify people of his passing, one of them was Grandpa's sister, Sue. Sue died the Tuesday evening of a heart attack. I know I met Sue, but do not remember her. Brother and Sister passing within 24 hours of one another.

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very strange

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