Julie, my prayers and thoughts go out to you and your family. As I read through the posts and replys I couldn't help but think, my God, this sounds like our family and every other family I know. If you'll bear with me, let me tell you about my mother and what we went through. Or I should say my brother. He lived close to her in Milwaukee. I was the smart one and moved 1658 miles away.
My Mom stayed in our house after my father passed away, way to early in life, in 1987. She pointedly (that meaning she put her index finger right up to your nose) told all of us that the only way she was going out of that house was feet first in a pine box. My brother with his dry professors sense of humor said, "Well, that will be cheaper than an expensive coffin."
She did fine by herself from age 69 to age 85. Then in the summer of 2005 we visited her for two weeks at her house, the one I grew up in. She forgot lots of things, did some strange things at times, but seemed fine. My brother had been trying to get her to move into a place called St. John's on the Lake in Milwaukee. An absolute luxurious retirement complex. She fought this tooth and nail and again said she was going out of her home feet first. Which she did 6 days after we left. Only she wasn't dead, but my sister had been trying to call her from northern Wisconsin and no answer. My brother went over and found her lying on the downstairs bathroom floor, calling for me and my wife. We were back in Montana.
Long story short....to the hospital; slight stroke; doctor says no you can't go back to that 3 story 5 bedroom house; gets apartment at St. Johns; tells all of us , especially my brother, that she hates it; ends up loving it; then peacefully passes away on the evening of Sept. 13 of this year, just as the Packers beat the Bears.
The last two years of her life were an adventure, if you will. She'd forget what room she was in, but remember her telephone number from her childhood home in Toledo, Ohio. She'd put 5 helpings of coffee creamer in her coffee,(she didn't like creamer), but could rattle off the recipe of her mothers prized Toledo Mudhen Meatloaf. The list goes on.
Your mom still sounds pretty "with it", and as long as she keeps busy and enjoys what she's doing, let her at it. Just keep watching for telltale signs that things may be getting worse. Memory lose is a natural ageing process. If she starts forgetting who you are, that's another thing. A sudden change in her habits, daily routine or outward health are warning signals.
Keep plugging along. We can't stop our crawl toward the end, and you being there with her and for your mom only helps. Even though she may fight what you say, she loves you and appreciates what you are doing for her.
Hell, we thought my mom was a goner at 75 (she got real sick that year). Crap, she terrorized us for another 19 years.
Bob
Anyone for a Weenie Roast?