Zero2Cool
16 years ago

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Some commentators are getting their knickers in a twist because they feel they are now unable to twist their lover's knickers around their fingers.

The world is, apparently, experiencing major changes in extramarital sexual behavior. And the reason for these changes is the development of superior technological gadgetry over the last few years.

According to Nick Harding of London's Independent newspaper, the United Kingdom's divorce rate is going down, and one of the reasons, he posits, is that it is far too easy for your spouse to catch you cheating, if not in flagrante delicto, then certainly communicanto.

Or, for those of you whose Latin is restricted to Russell Crowe in Gladiator, a snoopy spouse can find out where you've been and what you've been doing not by asking you or even catching you out in person, but by taking a voyeur's voyage around your gizmos.
(Credit: CC Just-Us-3)

Mr. Harding tells the tragic story of an Iraq vet who came home and discovered his wife's heinous affair by looking at her Mii performance records on their Nintendo Wii console.

It recorded the long nights of virtual bowling by the Iraq vet's wife with someone out there, bowling that appears to have escalated to a slightly less virtual and virtuous rolling. In the hay, as it were.

But technology isn't merely wrecking the joy of extramarital sex in the ways that many readers might have already experienced--the text message that gets read by the wrong person, the e-mail that gets surreptitiously scanned and interpreted. Or even misinterpreted.

Just a cursory googling brought me to a site that will happily sell you something called a GPS Snitch, which is "small and has advanced features in real time," for a mere $399.

Essentially, the GPS Snitch enables you to follow your spouse's car wherever he or she may go. Or roam. But if you're really suspicious, you could try wandering over to Brickhouse Security's very thorough site.

Brickhouse Security is keen to sell you a semen detection kit. (Sale price: $49.95.) I would underline the fact that this masterful technology works on garments of all materials, colors, and genders.

While I don't intend to spoil all your enjoyment of this most sobering science, I really must quote just one short paragraph from the Brickhouse site: "On Sunday morning, he left the house and told you he was going to play golf. Then, when he came home and took a shower, you grabbed his underwear and did the test. If you detected semen, what is he going to say? 'I was masturbating on the golf course.'"

Mr. Harding appears keen to suggest that younger people, who are more tech-savvy, are the ones who are keeping clear of infidelities, especially long-term ones. He quotes a psychologist called Andrew Marshall: "Keeping an affair going has become almost impossible. I would regularly counsel couples where an affair had lasted more than three years. Today, he or she will first get proof and confront. The result is that the length of affairs has dropped dramatically. Looking at all the evidence, it seems that the end of the secret affair is in sight."

Word has slipped out in only the last 24 hours that the propensity to have an affair, at least for men, may be genetically determined. But being a people sort of person, I am very keen to discover whether readers have been, well, caught. If not in the act, then at least very shortly afterward.

I am also interested to hear whether the ubiquity of your technological footprint really is making it more difficult for you to cheat on your spouses. Or whether, in fact, the younger ones among you have decided that, perhaps, marriage at a young age simply isn't such a good idea.

I have heard it said that many long-term relationships are currently being held together by economic imperatives rather than the atomic thrust of love. But I am a romantic at heart, and I want to be convinced that the true exciting beauty of the illicit affair is not quite dead.



Hmm, personally I think technology is making it easier to succumb to temptation. I mean, hell, pissed at the ole lady? Hop on Facebook or MySpace and find a new squeeze for the night. It's sad and unappealing how easy it is. Possibly a reason I'll be unmarried for many many more years lol
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Cheesey
16 years ago
And if you GET married, sounds like it wouldn't be for long! (She'd catch you!)
LOLOLOL!!!
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Fan Shout
dfosterf (1h) : Apparently it is too complicated for several to follow your simple instructions, but I digress
dfosterf (1h) : Zero- Did you see what I posted about Voice of Reason and his wife? She posted over at fleaflicker that they are both "In"
Zero2Cool (7-Aug) : Well, not crazy, it makes sense. Crazy I didn't notice/find it earlier
Zero2Cool (7-Aug) : it's crazy how one stored procedure to get data bogged everything down for speed here
dfosterf (7-Aug) : to herd cats or goldfish without a bowl. They reminded me of the annual assembly of our fantasy league
dfosterf (7-Aug) : out on a field trip, outfitting them with little yellow smocks. Most of the little folk were well behaved, but several were like trying
dfosterf (7-Aug) : Yesterday my wife and I spent the afternoon on the waterfront here in Alexandria, Va. A daycare company took about 15 three/four year olds
wpr (7-Aug) : seems faster. yay
dfosterf (7-Aug) : Wife of reason posted on the in/out thread on fleaflicker that both she and vor are in
Zero2Cool (7-Aug) : This page was generated in 0.135 seconds.
Mucky Tundra (7-Aug) : Tbh, I can never tell the difference in speed unless it's completely shitting the bed
Zero2Cool (7-Aug) : Sure does feel like site is more snappy
Zero2Cool (6-Aug) : I thought that was the Lions OL
Mucky Tundra (6-Aug) : Travis Glover placed on IR; seasons over for him
Zero2Cool (6-Aug) : found bad sql in database, maybe site faster now?
dfosterf (5-Aug) : I'm going to call that a good move.
Zero2Cool (4-Aug) : Packers sign CB Corey Ballentine
Zero2Cool (4-Aug) : I'm not sure how to kill the draft order just yet so it's not so confusing.
Mucky Tundra (4-Aug) : *to be able
Mucky Tundra (4-Aug) : and because it's not a dynasty league (which makes a lot more sense to be ability to trade picks)
Mucky Tundra (4-Aug) : Oh I know; I was just exploring and it blew my mind that you could trade picks because of the whole reordering thing
Mucky Tundra (4-Aug) : Zero, I think I preferred my offer: your 1st for my 15th rounder
Zero2Cool (4-Aug) : Keep in mind, we do a draft reorder once all members locked in
Zero2Cool (4-Aug) : You can have my 12th Rd for your 2nd round
Mucky Tundra (4-Aug) : Hey i didn't know we could trade picks in fantasy
Mucky Tundra (3-Aug) : Update: Rock has tried a cheese curd, promises it's not his last
Zero2Cool (3-Aug) : watch it!! lol
Mucky Tundra (3-Aug) : you're right, we never did leave, the site just went down :P
Mucky Tundra (3-Aug) : Rock claims to have never eaten a cheese curd
Zero2Cool (3-Aug) : We did not leave.
Mucky Tundra (3-Aug) : Family Night! WE ARE SO BACK!
Mucky Tundra (2-Aug) : To this day, I'm still miffed about his 4 TD game against Dallas on Thanksgiving going to waste
Martha Careful (2-Aug) : Congratulations Sterling Sharpe. He was terrific and I loved watching him play.
beast (2-Aug) : I believe it's technically against the CBA rules, but Jerry just calls it a simple unofficial chat... and somehow gets away with it.
beast (2-Aug) : Jerry Jones is infamous for ̶n̶e̶g̶o̶t̶i̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ chatting with players one on one... and going around the agent.
Mucky Tundra (1-Aug) : Oo just saw a blurb saying that Dallas negotiated directly with Parsons and not through his agent
Mucky Tundra (1-Aug) : I assumed that both guys will get paid, just a matter of when or how we get there
Zero2Cool (1-Aug) : McLaurin nor Micah going anywhere. They will get money
Mucky Tundra (1-Aug) : the Synder years or do they take care of one of their own?
Mucky Tundra (1-Aug) : Do the Commanders risk losing a top WR with an emerging QB just because he's turning 30 and potentially risk damaging the rebuild from
Mucky Tundra (1-Aug) : Turns 30 this September, plays at a high level and Washington has some cap space I believe
Mucky Tundra (1-Aug) : More interesting is Washington with Terry McLaurin
Mucky Tundra (1-Aug) : I would imagine Dallas will resolve this issue with a truckload of money
Zero2Cool (1-Aug) : Micah pulling a Myles with trade request
beast (1-Aug) : Packers should make some cheese forks
Mucky Tundra (31-Jul) : GRAB THE PITCHFORKS~
Zero2Cool (31-Jul) : CUT HIM
Mucky Tundra (31-Jul) : Socieltal collapse imminent
Mucky Tundra (31-Jul) : The West has fallen
Mucky Tundra (31-Jul) : After starting off camp with 25 straight made field goals, Brandon McManus has missed one
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