I am friends with a young lady and her husband that had a miscarry or two and a bunch of "no results" in their attempt to have a family.

They have been seeking advice and treatments from a fertility clinic for the past year or so. I have no idea how much they have spent in the past. She told me that she had to pay they $15,000 this week to continue. (Maybe it is the next step, more intense, in treatments.) Later she told me that the meds are an additional $3500. I have no idea if that is a 30 day, 60 day or 90 day supply.

I feel very bad for them. They have emptied their savings in an attempt to have a child. It is a shame that they want to have a family and are not able to and others churn them out like they are on a GM assembly line somewhere.

There is no doubt that these kinds of treatments are very expensive but I can not help but feel that the whole industry from the doctors to the pharmaceutical companies know how desperate these couples are and charge accordingly.

To top it off many/most health insurance companies will not cover these treatments as it is elective and not a medical necessity.

I have a cousin who is in her 40's. She and her husband can not have children so they have decided to adopt. They are scrutinized even more than most because they are older.

the system really sux big time.

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this speaks to my heart, wayne.

after 10 years of fertility treatments, countless surgeries, shots, pills, & finally IVF - i was able to conceive my twins. the $15,000 is for IVF. i actually quit my job & went to another place so i could have insurance coverage for my IVF. i went all the way to chicago 3 mornings a week to have ultrasounds done for months, tried artificial insemenation, but nothing worked until i had IVF.

i know exactly how they're feeling. i was 33 when i had my boys & am the oldest mom in their classes. i get strange looks at times from other mom's that don't know my story. i'll never forget the pain every month when things didn't work, getting my hopes up constantly, only to be dashed. it's a heart wrenching experience. one that sadly, in the end, had alot to do with the ending of my first marriage. he was not supportive at all, kept making sure all of his 'buddies' knew that the problem was with ME & not HIM, then when we had our beautiful twin boys, he pulled further away from all of us. he wanted kids so badly & i never really understood why he didn't want to be with us. now i realize his maturity level is just not there. probably never will be. he's more of a 'friend' to the boys than an actual father. but we take him how we get him cuz we have no choice.

if your friends need someone to talk to or just need a shoulder to lean on - i'm here. they're in my prayers.

Mrs. Dakota had to have endrometriosis surgery prior to Hannah being born, in addition to using superovulation drugs; and again with the twins. I was also tested and my sperm count was off the charts, which I'm sure surprises nobody in here.

I empathize with your friend WPR, because I know how demoralized my wife was not being able to conceive without help. My biggest fear at the time was her losing any of the children to miscarriage. Thankfully we live in an era when doctors can actually help women who would have been labeled barren decades ago.

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thanks for your input. I will mention your success. I don't know what the odds are. I have heard a lot of people have spent money with out much success. Yesterday I told her the money they were spending was going to well worth it in the long run. (well until the kid is a teenager.)

I know it is humiliating to the both of them. Sitting in the Dr office telling strangers about their personal lives. I never had to face it but I can see in their faces how difficult it is for them.

When it is all over I know she will get a great mother. Her husband will be a wonderful dad. I know both sets of grandparents and they will lovingly smother their new kid(s). The Aunties and Uncles will too.

The kid is going to be very blessed. They just have to get through all this crap first.

I left her alone for a while after lunch then about 3:00 went to check on her. I told her that the sun is shining and it is a nice day outside. i thought she should leave early. She stayed to get more work done and only left about 45 minutes early.

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Hope things work out for her Wayne, but if they don't there are many beautiful children already in the world waiting to be adopted.

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I think they should consider adoption. last time I mentioned it they were not ready. Perhaps in another year they will be.

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I sat through a church service back in early December that could basically be summarized as being geared towards those families who have been struggling to have children. I have some friends who have been trying for years with no success. I had them listen to the service and they were very grateful. If your friends are religious at all I think you should tell them to give this a listen.

http://www.crossroadscovenant.com/site/audio?file=http%3A%2F%2Fassets.communityspice.com%2Fcrossroadscovenant%2Fsermons%2F20111204.mp3&title=God+is+Getting+You+Ready&speaker=Pastor+Marc+Peterson&size=10.0+MB&length=43%3A35&date=December+4%2C+2011 

Even if they aren't religious they still might appreciate it. It's a 45 minute service and it takes probably until about halfway through until the message will be become clear.

Just thought I would share this, in case you find it appropriate to share with them.

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thanks gbguy. I appreciate it. whether or not they will listen is another matter.

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