In July, 2010 I was offered a job in Greeley, CO. I learned back in '03 to take heed my father's advice, if not to accept it, to at least hear it. I had all but decided I was going to accept the job. One major concern was moving away from family and friends. I try to be close to my family, although I didn't really interact much with them. During the discussion, leaving the state without my youngest girl, Rebecca came up. It was at this point he thought he'd be clever and drop a bombshell on me. He told me in the early 90's he fathered a girl, named Josephine. I was floored, pissed, angry, curious, filled with emotion. Dad said I knew about this, but he was wrong. If I had, I would have found her and been a big brother to and for her.
It was hard trying to find her. I knew her first name, the city her mother lived in and an approximate year of birth. I checked many resources and was determined to find her. I was checking the local high school graduation's for those years. Everything and anything that could give me a lead.
The little girls mother sent a letter with a picture to our house stating Dad was not "needed" and she wouldn't come after him for child support. Dad didn't get his hands on the letter because it was thrown away by future wife who said to forget about the little girl ... that he's moved on to better things.
To add to this, I had to find a school for Keiana, a place for us to live in Colorado and early August my Grandma passed away. It was exhausting and by the time I moved to Colorado, I lost hope.
I'm by nature a very private person, but decided to open up my Facebook profile a little more publicly hoping she'd find me.
Last week someone added me on Facebook named Jo. I did some research and found out that with the last name provided, Jo was short for Josephine and she was born in the early 90's and resided in the same city my dad had given me. "Could it be", I thought. I uncharacteristically added this person, waited a day or so ... nothing. I sent a message asking how she knew me, how she found my profile. Nothing back a day later. Growing impatient, I posted "Hi" on her Wall. She replied asking how I was. Finally, an opening I thought ... I responded "doing well, could be better if you'd answer my message ;)"
Apparently she did respond, but there was an error on Facebook so she resent it. I still did not get it.
Growing ever so more impatient, I sent her an email. She received it and said she'd respond when she was finished with work.
I thought, ... was dad telling the truth? Do I really have a little sister?
Was he just making it up to make me feel better about leaving Wisconsin? Would he do that?
How can he not even remember the woman's first name or last name?
An hour or so before I was about to leave work and head to Mount Rushmore, I received an email from 'Jo'. The letter contained some sporadic information about my father and uncles and aunt. I thought, holy hell ... it's HER.
So, adding to my two younger half brothers, I also have a little sister and I have no clue how to handle this. I am socially stupid and say things wrong more times than I care to count. I want to educate her on Dad's side of the family, but am not sure if she wants to. She said in an email Saturday that she's busy working morning an night for the weekend, but would definitely respond with questions.
I think my problem is I want to catch up on the last 20 years essentially over night.
The excitement I feel is similar to being a youngster on Christmas Day with loads of presents sitting in front of him, but not being able to open them.
I've seen things like this in movies and what not, but never in my wildest dreams EVER thought it'd happen to me. Never. And to add to this impatience, Dad calls me every Monday evening. I want to tell him, but I also want to afford her the opportunity of making first contact.