UW-L couple learns to go the distance
By KJ LANG | klang@lacrossetribune.com | Posted: Saturday, December 18, 2010 12:00 am
[img_r]http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/lacrossetribune.com/content/tncms/assets/editorial/0/9b/a1a/09ba1a21-d8c5-57d0-9be7-4672b2cd75a9-revisions/4d0c0803dafc7.preview-300.jpg[/img_r]Katie and Rourke Decker, a married couple for 7 years, are both graduating this Sunday from UW-La Crosse.
When Rourke and Katie Decker first noticed each other outside a movie theater in Fort Benning, Ga., it wasnt love at first sight.
For one, both were wearing the armys mandatory BCGs for birth control glasses, the thick-framed type the military requires instead of contacts or regular glasses that made them look incredibly dorky, they said.
But after the movie, the two started talking. About 45 minutes later, they started kissing. Eight months later, they were engaged.
Sunday, they will walk across the stage at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse graduation ceremony.
Rourke, 29, has majors in German studies and biology with a biomedical sciences concentration. Katie, 27, majored in mathematics with an education emphasis.
After military training and a marriage ceremony, theyve withstood four years of late nights studying for tests while raising twin boys. Theyve made it through a home foreclosure, a failed business and two military deployments that separated them for years at a time.
Love is a choice, and weve repeatedly chosen each other, Katie said.
After their initial meeting in Fort Benning, the two were separated for about three months and then reunited when stationed in units across the street from one another at Fort Bragg, in Fayetteville, N.C. Katies job was preparing and packing parachutes and Rourke was a medic.
I would joke, If I messed up my job, he could fix it, Katie said.
Rourke was deployed to Iraq only three weeks after they married in January 2004. He came back about a year later, then again was deployed while Katie was pregnant and gave birth to twin boys.
Rourke said its a myth that absence makes the heart grow fonder. A few months of obsessing about how Katie and the twins were doing left him drained.
Katie began to resent that he couldnt tell her what he was doing in Iraq because it was classified.
He ended up being closer to his co-workers than his wife and that really bothered me, she said. We drifted apart.
When Rourke finally returned from Iraq in December 2006, the couple had to choose to be close again. They both decided to finish college degrees they had started before their military careers.
They sold their home in Fayetteville in June 2007 and moved to La Crosse to be closer to family and take advantage of free tuition under the Wisconsin G.I. Bill. But a few months after the move, the mortgage company cancelled the home sale.
Soon after, a resume-writing business they attempted to build in La Crosse fell through due to lack of demand in a community that had three colleges with career centers.
Rourke was surprised Katie stuck with him through it all.
That shows me what a truly special blessing I have, he said. She still believes in me and thinks I can attain the things I dream of.
That dream will take the family to Oldenburg, Germany, for the spring semester, where Rourke technically will complete his UW-L degree. The two boys, Katie and the dog will accompany him. She doesnt want to be separated again.
Love is good but for a marriage you need more than love you really need commitment, she said.
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