Formo
14 years ago

I have little to add in this arena.. when I was a kid I was picked on because I wore glasses. lived on a farm and didn't always have the nicest of clothes.. on the bus where they thought they were safe from retaliation.. this was about 2 grade or so.. mid 70's... anyway.. it stopped when I blooded his nose on the playground.

Amazing how it ceases when you strike back, of course I would probably be expelled from the school district now for the same act in todays eggshell mentality.

As I kept getting bigger and stronger.. I was kind of the enforcer for the picked upon... there are lots of draw backs to being the tall built like a brick shit house kid.. playground politics was not one of them. ;)

"pack93z" wrote:



This.
UserPostedImage
Thanks to TheViking88 for the sig!!
Zero2Cool
14 years ago
??
UserPostedImage
Dexter_Sinister
14 years ago
My advice to your kid,

First thing is to make sure you don't bait or pick on someone, even a bully. Stand up to them with a stern look. "If you want to try and beat me up, then get it over with, I have better things to do."

Ignoring bullies never worked for me. Facing them down did. Even when they were bigger and older. I knew I wouldn't win a fight. But bullies don't like to get hurt. Even if they can hurt you.

Crazy beats big every time. If you think it is worth the temporary pain of getting you butt kicked one time to end the harassment, then take as many chunks out of them as you can and don't show pain or fear. They will move on to a softer target.

Most of the time the bullies are just struggling to find their boundaries. If they are told in their own kinds of terms, they actually turn out to be decent kids.

Sometimes they are just little sociopaths. You have to watch out for them.
I want to go out like my Grandpa did. Peacefully in his sleep.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
4PackGirl
14 years ago

Go beat the crap out of the super, Jules!!!

"Cheesey" wrote:



damn you know me SOOO well!! i don't know why he didn't realize who he's dealing with but trust me, he'll figure it out REAL soon if he doesn't pull his head outta his ass. i'd be MORE than happy to help him do it!! lol.
4PackGirl
14 years ago
update: hubby talked to the president of the school board yesterday. my letter had a huge impact on the board. they are less than pleased with how this has been handled & are meeting with the superintendent today. he said i should expect to hear from him as well as the super either this evening or tomorrow morning. he also told my husband that if my kids retaliate against this other kid, he'll back them 100%!!! oh did i mention the board prez is a colonel in the air force?? not a guy you want to piss off. all about discipline. he's pissed.
14 years ago
I was, by all accounts, not a nice kid between the ages of 8-12.

I was a bully.

I would pick on the kids, who like me, were different. Short kids, fat kids, kids with glasses etc. My difference was my color, being the only olive-brown kid in school. Thinking about it now, I can say it was a defense mechanism.

One day, it all changed.

I was now being bullied.

What happened was, I found an unused tampon still in it's wrapper on the floor and picked it up, obviously not knowing what it was. Some kid caught sight of it and so started the rumor that I use tampons.

The collective laughs from the boys I used to bully was my recompense I guess, but it sorted me out. No longer were my threats of "I will punch you until you break a bone" being taken with any merit, because now I was the kid who used feminine hygiene materials. I can laugh at heartily now, but back then i'd cry often. Then came the physical bullying - although I was bigger then all the kids as i'd relentlessly train there was strength in numbers.

A group of boys a year older than us sorted it out by saying they would bash the kids who were bullying me.

I learned my lesson though. Being put in a position where you have that done unto you which you have done unto others - even with the older boys scaring the kids, I didn't go back to bullying because I knew what it felt like.

from 14 onwards I was no trouble whatsoever, made some great friends and developed as a person - started talking to girls and like Pack93z, became a sort of "big protector to the little targets".

I would never say it's a universal tool that works; but me as a bully getting bullied was what sorted me out. It made me realise the feeling of having everything against you and trying hard to fit in.
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Zero2Cool is my captain.
14 years ago
Also, there is huge strength in numbers. If you can get all of the bullied kids to hang and play together, and retort to the bully showing no fear, he'll get the picture. And if he does try and find younger, easier targets, well just include them in the group. Pretty soon, he'll want to be part of it.

And will be sorry.

And will learn.
UserPostedImage 
Zero2Cool is my captain.
Trippster
14 years ago
2 cents worth.

I was never bullied although every once in a while someone would want to fight me because I was the biggest kid. (Usually an aggressive short kid who had issues).

Anyway, I usually was the peacemaker (still am to this day. Have stopped many of fights from getting out of hand as recently as this summer)


Here is my unusual advice.

Have your son and his friends befriend this kid. Ask him to sit with your son. Obviously, friendship and love is what he is lacking. Respect of others probably has not been taught at home. It is hard to bully someone who is being nice to you.




If that doesn't succeed, work him over with a tire iron.
"Let Your Light Shine!"
Formo
14 years ago

I was, by all accounts, not a nice kid between the ages of 8-12.

I was a bully.

I would pick on the kids, who like me, were different. Short kids, fat kids, kids with glasses etc. My difference was my color, being the only olive-brown kid in school. Thinking about it now, I can say it was a defense mechanism.

One day, it all changed.

I was now being bullied.

What happened was, I found an unused tampon still in it's wrapper on the floor and picked it up, obviously not knowing what it was. Some kid caught sight of it and so started the rumor that I use tampons.

The collective laughs from the boys I used to bully was my recompense I guess, but it sorted me out. No longer were my threats of "I will punch you until you break a bone" being taken with any merit, because now I was the kid who used feminine hygiene materials. I can laugh at heartily now, but back then i'd cry often. Then came the physical bullying - although I was bigger then all the kids as i'd relentlessly train there was strength in numbers.

A group of boys a year older than us sorted it out by saying they would bash the kids who were bullying me.

I learned my lesson though. Being put in a position where you have that done unto you which you have done unto others - even with the older boys scaring the kids, I didn't go back to bullying because I knew what it felt like.

from 14 onwards I was no trouble whatsoever, made some great friends and developed as a person - started talking to girls and like Pack93z, became a sort of "big protector to the little targets".

I would never say it's a universal tool that works; but me as a bully getting bullied was what sorted me out. It made me realise the feeling of having everything against you and trying hard to fit in.

"VinceLambeauStarr" wrote:



Wow. Incredible story. I'll be honest, though.. Gave me a good laugh.
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Thanks to TheViking88 for the sig!!
4PackGirl
14 years ago
hey guys -

had a face to face meeting with the superintendent monday morning. amazing what a few phone calls from the school board will do.

he treated me like shit for the first few minutes of our meeting - clearly he didn't appreciate me talking to the board - too bad. then he started talking. now i happen to be a firm believer in letting people in power talk as much as possible because the majority of the time, they end up sounding like complete idiots. this time was no exception. one minute he's saying how happy i should be that they haven't come home with blood on them & then he says if it was his child, he'd show up on the door step of the parents. then he said how awful he felt for the kids who were being pushed around & in the next breath would make excuse after excuse for my he didn't take care of the problem.

he couldn't stress enough how WE had to be a TEAM & work together on solving this problem. the WE he meant was NOT the school board. ha ha!!

anyway, we got a call from the school board prez last nite & he told us there is a definitive plan in place, the other kids parents were called in & told the plan, so everybody knows where they stand. well except us because they can't tell us the plan - privacy shmivacy.

he also said that the entire bullying policy will be changed because of this situation. they now realize they need specific disciplinary action set in place - duh. he also told us that if it happens again, we are to call HIM immediately - not the super - HIM.

thanks again for all your ideas guys - means alot to me!! πŸ˜ƒ
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