Many of us have lost someone special in our lives and some handle it better than others. As I found out Wednesday, I am not one who handles it well.

I'm hesitant to post this because of how unpleasant some people can be and how public of a place it is. Also the fear that It'd be thought that I'm looking for pity or things like that. I'm not. I'm only asking for advice. Because right now, I'm lost.

Yes, I know some here follow the lead of some bad apples who simply don't know me well enough to make an accurate judgment of me. I'm not worried about those comments. I am willing to take the good with the bad. There are many more good souls on this forum than not.

I don't want to burden anyone. It feels like most people are afraid to talk to me because they fear saying the wrong thing. I used to be one of those people. I now realize that just about anything is good to hear. Just hearing a voice or socializing with someone, makes it feel better.

I've talked with my family, friends and more family and friends. They are handling this far better than I am. So please forgive me for asking for your help, but as I said earlier, I am lost with out mom.

I really don't even know if this is an appropriate thing to do, but my world has been turned upside down. If you can offer any advice or comments or anything, I'd appreciate it. Thank you for your time.

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First Zero, I am truly sorry to hear of your loss, times now can be extremely difficult and reaching out is not a bad thing whatsoever.

I consider alot of folks here like family, an for me that is not an easy thing, I am usually very cautious with letting folks get close to me, like layers I don't let many past that first layer or two. So I don't for a second think you are out of place or asking for anything but a little help. Mighty brave of you for doing so.

I learned about 20 years ago that life has many dramatic ups and downs, enjoy the ups and learn how to accept, navigate and survive the lows. Losing someone in your life, a parent, spouse or child has got to be the worst of times. Somehow you need to call upon your inner strength, for your child, for yourself to find that next step of acceptance. Not an easy task no doubt, but you need to find somehow to take that next step.

Lean on whomever you need to, when times look bleak pick up the phone and call anyone that can if nothing else listen to what you need to release, but keep finding a way to make that next step to finding your way past your loss.

PM me if you would like... I will gladly give you my cell number in which you can call anytime you need to talk about whatever.. just shoot the breeze about the Packers.. sometimes I might be a little outspoken, but I listen well when needed.

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One thing that might help is write a email/letter to your mom..Or SPEAK to her as if she is right there with you ( I am under the impression it is your mom)

Let out all your emotions, tell her the things YOU always wanted to say to her..

Once you do that KEEP doing it, until you start to feel better..

I am a firm believer that ones passed on can and do hear us..

It is an old cliche, but as time goes on, it WILL get better

Thank you. Finding the next step I think is the hardest thing, but good advice. I'm pretty much trying to take it one day at a time, but finding myself trying to figure out how to pass by the next hour. I want to be left alone, but once alone I'm trying to think of who I can call, visit or whatnot.

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And that is when speaking to her will some what ease the pain...

It might not help but it won't hurt that is for sure..Unless your on a bus and talking to the air saying I love you and miss you..

People might think your a Bears fan and smack ya

Well I completely understand the wanting to be left alone part.. that is my normal avenue... isolation, but believe me that is a double edged sword... your mind wears on you when left alone to do nothing but dwell on your thoughts... find a balance quickly.

Although I have never tried it, Longtime's idea may help.

As far as the next step, you will find it if you keep your wits about you.. it very well might be something very abstract, but something to draw your interest and provide a drive of sorts.

For me, when I was in my darkest hour it was computers.. building them and tearing back apart.. something time consumming but at the same time I could see the results quickly and always something new to try.. soon the other pieces of life just kind of fell into place and the next steps became clear or at least they became visible.

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About speaking to her as if she were there. At work today I was going over the skywalk between the two buildings. It's about three football fields long and I'm not a fan of heights so I usually talk to myself to help me through the jitters. I started talking to mom and I looked over wondering why she wasn't saying anything back. She wasn't there and I just started tearing up.

It does help to speak to her as if she's able to hear me.

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First let me say I am very sorry about your loss. The pain will ease with time but I know that at this moment that may not be what you want. It seems like a betrayal of the one you loved if the pain eases. You have to go through your grieving. Believe it or not that is part of the healing. The pain will eventually give way somewhat and memories will take it's place. Those memories, friends and family will be what helps you go on. Keep reaching out when you need to and be alone when you need to.

It's rare these days to see a bomd between a mother and son like it sounds like you had with your mother. I think that is a testament to her and the love she had for you. You are very lucky to have been able to share that kind of love with someone. We should all be so lucky.

Time heals all wounds. We will be here to help that time pass a little easier.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss Kevin. I don't even handle the loss of pets at all well; I can't imagine going through what you are. If you'd like to talk about anything let me know. I have your number kicking around here somewhere.

Oh Zero.........my heart goes out to you. I KNOW how you feel......I have been there, with both my parents.
Time does make it easier, in some ways. But the pain never goes away, you just learn to live with it. My Mom has been gone 18 years, my Dad 34 years. I STILL miss them, and dream about them.
Take one day at a time, and talk to your Mom. There will be times when you, for a split second, forget she's gone. You will find yourself thinking "I'm gonna give Mom a call" and then reality will hit. For me, those were some of the hardest times.
But KNOW I'm here for you, and will NOT belittle you in any way, shape, or form. You have lost a HUGE part of your life, and nothing or no one can fill that void.
If you want to PM me, and talk how you feel, i will try to help you through this.
Again, i an SO sorry to hear of your loss. 😞
I wish there were magic words to make it easier for you, to make the pain go away. But i know no such words exist.

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