So, I sat down to have my morning coffeephone rang.
Me: Good morning!
Pentagon: Good Morning, sir. This is Colonel Schmuckatelli of the United States Army.
Me: Bullshit, ColonelI did my time, check my SRB, all you gotta do is keep sendin those checks
Col: No, no, no, you old fart, Im calling to give you an update on your missing 4-wheelers. You see, we got to drinkin that night, and one of my doggie friends suggested we go ahead and check out your story, so the next morning I contacted NRO (National Reconnaissance Office) and NSA (National Security Agency) to get a heads up. Ya, turns out you were telling me the truthyou have some strange friends there, sirWhat we did was crack into his home computerI never saw squirrel porn before, but that isnt why Im calling. I just wanted to let you know they are safe and the U.S. Government is going to name a trail after them in one of our National Forests.
Me: Ya, I already knew they were safe, I saw one of them online last night, Why are you naming a trail after them?.
Col: Whew, we were kinda worried about that whole computer thing We just thought that since we screwed up the guys computer, it was the least we could do
Me: How does cracking into the guys computer screw it up, Colonel?
Col: Well, this is a little embarrassing, but it seems that one of the lads over at NSA decided to check out some of that squirrel porn that your Montana Bob is it?--- had squirreled away so to speak on his hard drive, and he ran into something we also had not seen before a squirrel virus. We are trying to get our data back now, I just thought Id call at let you know everything is good with him. Our computer systemnot so much."
Me: I thought the telephone system at the Pentagon was integrated to your computer system, Colonel. How are you calling me?
Col: It is. Im calling you from a McDonalds
Welcome back safe, Bob!
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