It was one year yesterday. It's incredible how the pain feels the same, it's just not fair. I've tried so many things to block it out, but it keeps coming back, sometimes stronger.

"SlickVision" wrote:

my wife lost her dad this year. it was really tough for her. her dad was a very, very special guy. i feel so badly for my wife and her mom. my father in law was a really unique guy, and i am so lucky to have known this man.

some nights are very hard for her, the memories are so great, and it is so difficult to believe he is gone. lung cancer took my father-in-law in 21 days.

honestly, what has not only gotten her, my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-law, through it all, is each other.

if you have siblings, spend time with them, and try to live the life like your mom would want.

my wife's family does alot of camping. when her dad was alive, on every trip we went camping, he would always make a remark when we would see a hawk flying over the road.

now, when we see a hawk flying, my wife and i always say that it is her dad watching over us.

i just try to make my wife feel as good as i can. if she wants to cry. i let her cry until she has nothing left. hold her, tell her i love her, and i will take care of her, and that is all i can do.

i do not know what the circumstances are that took your mom from you. i tell my wife, her dad is no longer stuck in that old, tired, sick body. he is free, and happy, as should she.

peace out brother, god bless you, and stay strong.

"dhpackr" wrote:

I'm very sorry for both of your losses 😞

I was thinking about her and I know this is an extremely selfish thought, but I keep hating myself for not being there at her side those last hours. I can't help but feel like I failed her, let her down. And I know it's just me feeling sorry for myself and I need to keep the mindset of she's in a better place now. It's just hard times to imagine there being a better place in or outside of this world that doesn't involve having her two sons at her side.

"Zero2Cool" wrote:

Kevin,
You did not let your mother down. You did not fail her. That is not possible. Don't torment yourself. It only hurts you.
Not everyone can be right there by their loved one's side. The author of the book "Tuesday's with Morrie" wrote how a dying man, Morrie, told his sons not to drop everything to come back home and watch him die. That means the disease wins three times not once. (He had 2 sons.) He (Morrie) knows that his sons love him. He knows that they (his sons) know that he loves them. I found that interesting.

"wpr" wrote:

I'm writing a book about what I went through. Chances are it will never be published but I will try anyway.

It's on the Internet right now, it's in its final editing and I'm having some friends review it. The project started out as a series of rural landscapes but as I worked on the the photographs I became aware of how metaphors in the land paralleled what we go through in life. Thus, a narrative has been written to accompany the photographs.

Anyone here good at proofreading and editing?

Those of you who have suffered great loss, there is nothing I can say to ease the hurt inside. All I know is those we leave behind would want us to enjoy the days we're allowed to have.

"vegOmatic" wrote:

3 1/2 years since we lost my dad & on a daily basis, the pain has subsided somewhat. however, with every joy in my life, in my boys lives, in my family's life - there is that sting of pain knowing my dad isn't there with us. i firmly believe that will never change. my brother & i were talking a couple days ago about my dad. this time of year & the fall are extremely difficult for us. not being in the field helping him is this empty hole that can't be filled.

"4PackGirl" wrote:

it was a very special day indeed, alan. for it to be shared with you & LJ was the icing on the cake.

and the whole "rackers" hat deal was HYSTERICAL!! i remember that as well everytime they talk about neil rackers. that hat along with countless others is still at my moms house. i kept all his packers gear & wear it proudly. i can still smell his after shave in his clothes. i miss him so much.

"4PackGirl" wrote: