If you’ve spent any kind of time on the internet in the last 24 hours you’ve likely to see some phrases floating around that are utterly mystifying when put together: Monkey bite, special teams coach, and “Pole Assassin.” It’s like a word cloud from a piece of Harry Potter fanfic. Instead it’s one of the most bizarre and confounding sports stories of the year, that keeps getting weirder with every layer of the onion you peel back.
It should be noted that at this point everything in this surreal scenario has been unearthed by internet sleuthing. Without any official statement at this time, everyone is just trying to piece this together.