We have a reasonably long-running thread about lazy folk, but that doesn't quite hit this particular semi-emergency situation that developed.

My wife usually cleans the oven. Well, since I have absolutely no recollection of having run into this problem before, I should more accurately state that she has always cleaned the oven.

The task wasn't even on my "honey-do" list, and I now know why. I wasn't even warned about the pitfalls, apparently due to the concept that I was mistakenly perceived by her to be not as stupid as I in fact am/are/was/is/whatever.

We have an old built-in oven. We have it because:

1. My wife likes it.

2. I am too cheap to get a new one.

It has analog controls, and the self-clean feature is "manual", in that you slide a lever to the right in order to "lock" the door. These are things I have just learned, along with the exact model/serial number/nomenclature/oven fail tendencies.

I never noticed that my wife never used the "self-clean" mode. I , like most husbands, just noticed that periodically my oven was magically clean.

I did find a can of "fume free" oven cleaner yesterday, and surprisingly to any female reading this, I read and followed the directions, which has alot to do with:

A: As I was encroaching upon what is traditionally my wife's arena of expertise and responsibility, I knew enough to tread lightly, and ...

B: I liked the part in the instructions that said it was best to wait overnight after having "sprayed", at least I liked that part yesterday when I sprayed.

Any man that has ever "fixed" something (usually rusted) by spray painting it has some understanding of my thought processes...

ANYWAY, the day of reckoning came this AM. The shit does work, which is probably the first aerosol product not named WD-40 that did, at least in the sense that I didn't have to also hit/tap it with a hammer. So, I get a nice, clean oven, except for some small residual "burned-in" type stains. This is what started the whole trouble.

You know, the question you ask yourself is this...Why don't womenfolk use the self-cleaning feature of their oven, PLUS, if it's already clean to husband-standards, what would be the harm in NOW performing the self-cleaning operation...

If you are a husband, it is OK to run the self-cleaning function, but you will need a few items prior to doing so. You will need a coat hangar, a multi-meter, access to the internet, all kinds of tools, especially if your oven is built-in, a bible (this has to do with some prayers you must recite in order to get the cam thingamajigs to whirl in order to get the unlock solenoid to operate after years of non-use, after you just subjected the whole deal to temps exceeding 875 F.)

Female-type patience waiting for oven to cool in order to determine if aforementioned prayers took hold, even while reading that only a friggin' moron would run his (interesting how all of the experts said "his") self-cleaning mode on his oven after years of non-use.

Ear plugs in order to not hear your oven making a small buzzing noise when off, said buzzing noise practically demanding dis-assembly by any right thinking American male.

I did crack under the pressure of a non-opening oven prior to attempting any dis-assembly...I called my wife at work. She was/is NOT HAPPY. I'm only typing this now because I have succeeded in getting the damn thing open, by cycling it through a 2nd "clean cycle" of 15 minutes, complete with another 1.5 hours of additional "wait-time".

I don't know which one I am now more scared of...

My oven or my wife.

:thumbleft:

(It is cleaner than SHE ever got it, but I will NOT be mentioning this unless a real emergency arises this evening when she comes home to complete bitching me out)

I pass on the oven cleaning duties.. I get stuck with the latrine duty.

Hardly can do that incorrectly... but that is the point.. I can't get in the doghouse.

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What's an Oven??? What is self-cleaning?

Don't you just put things into the micro-wave and hit "play?"

Gotta get on google and look that up. :icon_smile:

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It's not that you can't do it incorrectly. It's a job that sucks so much that a poor job is better than you having to do it. So just by you doing it, she's stoked.

p.s. don't tell her I said that or else she'll say "I don't want you talking to that Zombieslayer guy. He's a bad influence."

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Me......i'm the cook. So cleaning the oven has always been my job.
I NEVER used the "self cleaning" crap, because i don't trust it.
I use hot soapy water, a good plastic scrubber, and elbow grease,
it might not be "spotless" when i'm done, but i can bake in it without setting off the smoke alarms!

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I have difficulty ever finding a decent glass, spoon, coffee mug, knife, salt or pepper shaker, and some other stuff. My dog is pissed as well, because he can't find a decent biscuit.

Why have I let 3 wives (and running) control my silverware, dishes, and far more importantly...my cups and glasses.

I have no interest in drinking out of a thimble. Who the hell invented the tea cup by the way.

Sorry for dragging this thread out of obscurity, but my dog just had to eat like 15 of those little dog bone biscuits because everytime my wife goes grocery shopping she buys those. My dog wanted me to tell her that "Hello, I weigh more than you do by about 20 some pounds...get a clue, hon" I think that's what he said, he's so ticked off right now he's hard to understand.

I just made a special trip to the store to get my dog the real biscuits--the BIG biscuits, just like all my silverware, dishes and glasses would be, if I only had the courage to stand up to one of these women someday.

I wrote this here because I promised Max I'd take care of it, and this is all I am allowed to do by the current wife.

:thumbleft:

That original post was classic. Dragging this thread from obscurity was easily worth it.

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WOW.. Is that a Zombie sighting?!


EDIT: Oh.. Nevermind. lol That was an old post. 😞

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+1

My wife is rolling on the ground laughing. When she came up for air, she gave that, "don't EVEN think about touching my oven."

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i pretty leave the kitchen to my girlfriend, and i get the bathroom and bills to pay, whatever i take like 5 minutes on the toilet 😃

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