Once upon a future, not really far away, but too far away because the stupid ^%&**^&%$# NFL changed the date.... anyway, once upon a future, the following order of events was/will be observed...
1. At #21, Thompson takes advantage of multiple teams wanting C J Mosley, and trades down, say to #27 with New Orleans.
2. At #27, Thompson takes advantage of multiple teams wanting a particular quarterback, and trades down a second time, say to #1 in the 2nd with Houston.
3. As a result of said trades, GB also gains a late pick in the second, an early and late pick in the third, and an early pick in the fourth. GB also trades away its 21st picks in 5th, 6th, and 7th rounds and its 6th round pick in 2015.
4. Shocking everyone except an occasional Iowa oddball, a run on quarterbacks (including Minnesota once again reaching for a quarterback destined to be Ponder II) and defensive linemen like Hageman and Tuitt, Calvin Pryor falls out of the first round and Ted Thompson grabs him with the opening pick of the second round on Day II.
5. (Packer fans, having spent the night after round one wailing, gnashing teeth, and drinking far too much, barrage 1265 Lombardi with complaints about Ted playing games with their minds.) Viking fans of course are bragging about how Ponder II is going to kick the Packers' ass.
6. Texaspackerfan blames it on Obama and DakotaT responds by blaming it on Dubya.
6. Packershome sets a new record for site visits in a 24-hour period.
7. Shortly after this, Thompson shocks Packer fans (and causes Mel Kiper’s hair to land in the lap of some poor Jets fan in the whoosh set off by Chris Berman exclaiming “Whooooaaa!!!!” Kiper is shocked into silence for a record 12 seconds.) and trades up to somewhere around pick 5-10, and grabs Marquise Lee who also unexpectedly fell out of the first round. Terms of trade: Green Bay gives up its original second round pick, picks up another third, exchanges fourth round picks (now picking several picks later), and gets a sixth pick in 2015 and 2016. Oh, yes, and also gives up B.J. Raji and John Starks.
8. Packershome traffic rises fast, as fans try to decide whether they should cheer or jeer the latest trade.
9. The final second round pick is uncontroversial, as GB picks up Jeremiah Attaochu and lights a serious fire under Nick Perry’s ass.
10. After an odd trade sees the Packers move down a few spots with their third pick and get mid-fifth and mid-sixth picks, Thompson causes a second night of wailing and gnashing of teeth as he chooses Tre Mason, and follows it up by spending two more third rounders on the offensive side.
11. A few geezers applaud his choices of Five-Position-Jack Mewhort and Travis Swanson, exclaiming, "That should light some fires under the asses of all OL not named Sitton.
12. Despite returning to the defensive side of the ball with his final pick of day two, compensatory pick #36, when he picks Yawin Smallwood, most Packer fans spend a second consecutive night spend the night casting aspersions on Ted the Trader, wondering whether he has been spending too much time with Iowa professors and drinking too much.
13. 1265 Lombardi Avenue is inundated with calls again the following morning, this time from Packer fan spouses, who complain about having to deal with hangover whining for the second day in a row.
14. Kevin announces in the shout that Packershome shattered its day-old traffic record, and that "even texaspackerfan and DakotaT agree that spending a second-rounder on a running back is a pretty stupid pick."
15. Day three dawns with the Packers having the opening pick for the second day running. Unlike the Pryor pick the day before, Ted's choice this time renews the grumbling among said double-hangovered fans.
16. Kevin begins wondering whether the traffic record might fall for the third day in a row, as one fan in Iowa ecstatically and immediately calls the Packer Pro Shop asking for custom-made home and away jerseys emblazoned “Shade Tree” in size zillion-extra large.
17. (The Pro Shop politely declines said fan's offer to design a new line of "Tre and The Tree" apparel, and suggests he might
bother contact the players' agents instead.)
18. The rest of day three goes rather sedately (and, if truth be told, is slept through by most Packer fans), as Thompson follows up the McCullers pick by focusing all but one of his remaining picks on defense.
19. Thompson makes one more minor trade to enable him to pick up a late second-rounder, ending up with a total of 14 picks and extra picks in the 7th round in 2015 and the sixth round in 2016.
20. Kevin, bored because the traffic record doesn’t get broken again, decides to play with the look of the website again, but refuses entreaties to add decorative shade tree graphics in honor of the new DT.
21. The final draft as a result looks like this:
Round 1: None.
Round 2: Calvin Pryor (FS), Marquise Lee (WR), Jeremy Attaochu (OLB).
Round 3: Tre Mason (RB), Jack Mewhort (OT/OG), Travis Swanson (C), Yawin Smallwood (ILB).
Round 4: Daniel McCullers (DT), E. J. Gaines (CB).
Round 5: Christian Jones (ILB), Nat Berhe (SS/FS).
Round 6: Ryan Carrethers (DT), Colt Lyerla (TE).
Round 7: John Urschel (OG).
22. The crazy Iowa guy notes, "You guys were right. Ted really *does* know what he's doing!" and gives him an A on the 2014 draft.
23. The rest of the denizens of Packershome, on the other hand, give it a grade of __???___
(By the way: I really hate the NFL for changing the draft date. We should be complaining about actual picks by now!!!)
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)