I hear you Dave, but hear me out, at least the whole de-icing thing. I was at the Pentagon when the Air Florida crash happened. I walked over to the 14th street bridge. It was during a big snowstorm in D.C. I didn't see the crash, but I did see the guy go in and rescue someone, all the people in the water/ice, I saw the stew getting airlifted by the helicopter, I saw the guy drown, and I saw the plane ultimately sink. Also, you need to know I am "from" there, as I mostly grew up in Northern Va. after Wisconsin. As fate would have it, my good friend's (still) sister and her daughter were on that plane. I actually dated her in high school a couple of times. The snow was that "wet" snow, and I think the pilots made the decision to take-off because the temp was just below freezing, etc. They actually discussed going back to the gate for a second de-icing, but because of the snowstorm, were already heavily delayed and National was "backed-up" , so they tried to take off anyway.
Now, I'm not saying that you didn't get the royal shaft from United, but I personally witnessed and personally felt an alternative outcome. Her name (maiden) was Kathy Koger-Trice, (I didn't know her daughters name). I have seen a lot in my lifetime, but that one really sticks to me.
I thought you might want to know about this, as it might make you just a little less pissed at the Airline.