"Pentagon, Lt. Col. Scmuckateeli speaking, this is a non-secure Line."
Me: "You are the duty officer again, Colonel?"
Lt. Col. S.: "Yes I am, may I ask who is calling, please?"
Me: "Well, Colonel, you might remember me from a few weeks ago... I'm the fellow that reported my buddy having sighted one or more UFO's while bar-hopping in Wisconsin...what a coincidence that you are on duty, yet again."
Lt. Col. S. : "I was just thinking the same thing myself, it must be my lucky Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo India November Golf day."
Lt. Col. S. "What can the Armed Forces of the United States of America do for you today, sir?"
Me: "Well, I would like to report a suspected incident of sabotage involving the local affiliate of a major national television network."
Lt. Col. S.: "And you witnessed this "incident", sir?"
Me: "Well, not exactly...you see...it was reported to me by one of my fellow posters on a Green Bay Packer forum, and since I DID witness the end result because we couldn't watch part of the Packer game, and we were all blaming Zero..."
Lt. Col. S.: "Zero, sir? This incident does NOT involve cheesey, this time?"
Me: "Ahhhh, well..... Not the cheesey you might be thinking of sir....this is a different cheesey, and I as I was saying were all blaming oh, too, I mean, Zero two, and as the gam...."
Lt. Col. S: "Lemme see if I have followed you so far...this is a different kind of cheese, reporting this, is this what you are saying?"
Me: "Ahhhh, well.... It's really more a matter of a different kind of PERSON, but he also calls himself a cheese....I don't know if I'm quite getting my story across here, Colonel..."
Lt. Col. S: "Well, what kind of cheese is THIS cheesey...swiss, provolone, what am I dealing with here..."
Me: "Well, ummmmm, he would be, ummmmm, California Cheese, Colonel, but more accurately, he would ummmm, be... California Cheez, as in Charlie Hotel Echo Echo Zulu, and he wants you to know he considers it sabotage."
Lt. Col. S.: "Sir, I have a flash message for you. Due to the wonders of pentagon communications and eavesdropping equipment, we were able to discern the exact culprit and/or culprits involved as regards your incident and the undermining of the viewership of that football game. We have investigated the situation rigorously, and concluded that it was your ineffective lines that sabotaged that game, coupled witha failure by your quarterback to come through in the clutch when needed. Have a nice day, and wish your drinking buddy cheesey my best, along with Zero2cool and California Cheez...and sir.....please go ahead and call in a couple of weeks if anything else pops up, as I am going on leave effective 1600 today for a month."
click.
:thumbleft: