Hmm...

Wish I had something really exciting to share. But I don't.

By the way, love how this latest zombie outbreak is blamed on bath salts. Bath salts? And people are actually gonna buy this.

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Tell us what's happening!
Thuji. Ergo, poop, pee, chewing, licking. Very little barking (6 total barks in 6 days so far; not 6 spates of barking, 6 barks. Total.). World's coolest fuzzball.

Who's pissing you off?
Politicians, if I can't avoid them. The notion that too many Americans have that politicians and "government" are capable of "solving problems."
Myself for zero discipline re: exercise.
Myself for zero discipline re: de-cluttering and doing small repairs of my pigsty of a house.

What's cool in your life?
1. Thuji.
2. The fact that I'm going to be learning some serious math this summer when not training and playing with Thuji.
3. Actual hope that I'm going to get my website/blog going again this summer.

How are the bees?
Since Troy has the best honey, this question is primarily for him, I guess. Bees I'd prefer to stay in North Dakota, and I wish the blankety blank yellow jackets would go somewhere other than my deck.

The burgers at your McDonald's?
Haven't had one in years and years. (If I need a burger and am too lazy to cook it, I take the grease of Culvers.) I do like McD's McChicken from time to time. And I'll always love their fries, methinks.

Who's taking a vacation where?
I had mine already. I spent a day in the Albany airport picking up and getting to know Thuji. Unless I get a winning lottery ticket, no more for 2012.

Who -- besides Rourke, of course -- is getting too much? Who's getting too little?

No clue.

I'm a geezer. I don't believe in Viagra, Cialis, etc. Ergo, I'm too tired to worry about it. And if I'm not tired, I'm looking for romance and conversation and beauty. Sex is like extra sugar in the icing -- I'm a diabetic; I don't need the hassle.

Who's got the best dirt?

Gee. I ask for gossip/slander/defamation, and you people talk about your lawns.

My lawn is half dirt and half weeds. Its far down the list of "things of the repair/maintenance sort that I procrastinate for years on."

What's your opinion of Donald Driver's dance partner?

I've always liked ballroom dancing. It connects seriously to the romantic in me. And, once upon a time 150 pounds ago or so, I was very, very good at it. Toyed with becoming a teacher of it, briefly, but realized I didn't have enough music in me.

But "Dancing with the Stars," what little of it I've seen, leaves me cold. I like attractive women in slutty clothes as much as the next guy. Probably more. (Certainly more than I'll ever admit to my mother or my employer.) But to me, ballroom dancing, even the uber-cool Latin dances like tango, rhumba, salsa, etc., are about romance and elegance. Risque is good. Sensuality is good. But if I want strip club/porno outfits, I'll buy a magazine or surf the internet.

And DD, you're one of my favorite all-time Packers, and a major classy dude, but I'm sorry, but shirtless and "ballroom" do not go together. Nor should a male ballroom dancer wear orangey-pink anything. White tie. Black tie. Smoking jacket. Think Bogart or Cary Grant or even Claude Rains. Not George Clinton or David Lee Roth.

Driver's partner? Nice athletic legs, the kind that deep slits up the legs of a black evening gown are designed for. But she comes off as a bimbo to me, a blonde Kardashian. Yech.

Any interesting junk mail?

Not really. Haven't had time.

But I like junk mail -- it tends to be stuff written by masters of the language. If you want to improve your ability to make words work for a purpose, study what the junk mail industry calls the "controls". IMO the only better ways for writers to improve (by far) are "read constantly, read a lot" and "write a million words or so. But taking apart the methods of junk mile writers is third, and far more valuable than, say, getting a liberal arts major in English, economics, or anything else.

Any new Viking jokes?

Not until we see who makes the final Viking roster. Or the next time I have to drive on Minnesota roads. Or zombieslayer convinces vikesrule to make another bet.

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VR won't make another bet.

What's pissing me off? The American public. They're actually believing a quickly contained zombie outbreak was just someone on bath salts.

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'Bath salts' is just the street name of the combination of two amphetamines. Actually, 3 deadly ingredients that are involved in the toxic cocktail are Methylenedioxypyrovalerone (MDPV), mephedrone, and pyrovalerone.

So, we have a drug that turns people into zombies. Awesome.

Oh, also, this case wasn't even the first of it's kind. There have been many other reports of these types of 'crimes'.

My biggest gripe with how they took the attacker down is the lack of the double tap. WTF Miami police?!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/29/rudy-eugene-identified-as-naked-cannibal-face-attack-miami_n_1552249.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=turner_social 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/30/bath-salts-health-cannibal-rudy-eugene_n_1555493.html 

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my neighbor's kids (11 and 13) have been riding their dirtbikes up and down the street non-stop from 8AM to 11PM every day, obviously they cant during school but they barely go and are already out for summer. I probably sound like a hypocrite but I ride on the road very rarely, and do it in a slow, quiet fashion. I do admit I have a street bike and I'm not even close to quiet with that...but at least it's road legal.

Anyway I've confronted their parents telling them how illegal riding on the road with a dirt bike is, they can get impounded, no less than $200 fine, blah blah blah...All they tell me is let the kids have some fun. I think its time to have some friends over and show them what a little fun sounds like, yeah this is an immature idea, but I am the kind of guy who would go out of his way to make a point. Besides, I haven't been to a party with the Mrs. since New Years.

The whole point of this is I can not stand kiss-ass, whipped parents. When I was growing up, getting a gameboy and not having it taken away meant that you were a bad ass because you did what your parents told you. There were no stories going around of kids telling their parents to "F*ck off, and to kiss their ass". (Yes this goes around, I have a little brother in 9th grade). Anyway, kids are so spoiled these days and what they take for granted really gets under my skin. Especially when some dipshit senior in highschool will pull up to me in my truck (for fun, not work truck) and tell me how I'm a redneck, hick, don't know anything, and he's so much faster than me and when he tries to speed away in his bmw, mercedes, corvette, ETC. he pops the clutch and stalls...leaving me laughing and him red-faced. I only have one thing to say for every kid today that is spoiled, lazy, immature, that thinks he is better than every one else and can do anything because mommy and daddy make so much money, and that is "Good Luck...once you're on your own, you're screwed".

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nice rant AL! big thumbs up.

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I tend to believe in the bunghole method of education of teenagers.

No, not *that* bunghole. Gee, you guys are sick for even thinking that.

I'm referring to the original meaning of the word. You see, the bunghole was the hole by which a wine barrel was filled. The cork or plug was called the "bung."

Anyway, the bunghole method of education goes as follows:
1. The teenager is kept inside the barrel, and fed through the bunghole.
2. When the teenager turns 16, you drive in the bung.

[grin1] [ass]

(The older I get the more I identify with Mr. Wilson, and with the "scary old guy" in all those children stories who lived in a run down house behind unkempt hedges and kids were afraid of.)

Dogs = cool.
Kids = for the rest of you, who are better human beings than I am.

[rockon]

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Mark Twain method of raising children. I like it as it shows us that unmanageable teens not not a new phenomenon.

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today I figured I'd show them what a real bike sounds like, and their parents took a video of me going down the road...now I'm going to court for riding an unreg. vehicle on the road. I almost smacked those parents when I asked them what their problem was...Now I'm looking at a $300 fine or more, and just another BS thing on my record that doesn't need to be there.

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Looks like I'll be spending June 4th through June 11th in The Jupiter Florida Correctional Facility. Apparently I had too many "crimes" on my record (three, not counting this one, 2 speeding and one for underage drinking). This is total bullshit and I'm fucking done with the "law system" of this country. A week in jail for having a record that is a quarter of a lot of the guys I know. Forget doing tuneups for the police cruisers and forget doing maintenance on any of their squad cars. Before I agreed to work on their cars they were cruising around in ford POS's from the 80's that barely ran, and guys got away from them all the time. Looks like our agreement means jack shit to them.

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