"Did your kid starve to death? Make another one!"
"Marriage . . . Love . . . Sex."
"Cheating isn't worth it. Stay with the right one!"
Phil Superstar: HAHA! My boss is so dumb. I'm like, "Mr. Winkler, I'm feeling like shit." And the idiot believes me! Two days vacation and party. Awesome!
Max Winkler: Did you forget that we're Facebook friends? Fired!
Phil Superstar: Shit.
Benjamin: Yesterday I sent the following text message to a few of my friends: "Hey, I can't find my cell phone right now. Please give me a ring. Thanks!" Almost every one of them called me back. From this I deduce that my friends are not the most intelligent of people.
Jürgen: So did you find it?
Benjamin: That only goes to prove my theory.
Christian: What does a normal person do on average ten times a day?
Nikos: Jerk off.
Stefan: Onanism.
Oliver: Masturbate.
Alex: Masturbate.
Max: And just like that, the money is all gone again.
Kerstin: Where the hell are you?
Max: Do you remember that jewelry store where you saw that diamond necklace you loved?
Kerstin: Yes!
Max: I'm in the bar across the street.
Status: My vacation draws ever closer . . .
Reply1: I slip my hand slowly under my thong and start to rub
Reply2: wtf? :D
Reply3: Eh, Nicole?
Reply4: Shit! Delete that! That was supposed to be in the chat!
Monique: To all those hunters who kill animals for meat, shame on you! Just go to the store and buy the meat that is made there. At least then no animals will be killed.
Tina: From your lips to God's ear.
Pablo: You two aren't exactly the sharpest tools in the shed, are you? How exactly does the meat get to the stores, Moni?
Monique: The meat is produced there so that no innocent animals need to die.
Pablo: Dear God. Please tell me that I don't actually know such people. *edits friends list.*