Zero2Cool
14 years ago
I can be overly analytical on things. I think it's safe to say I might be my own biggest critic and I know I'm guilty of over analyzing things I do, say and how I react.

Everyday I think of something that ...
I said that I shouldn't have or should have,
I did something I shouldn't have or should have,
I reacted to something I shouldn't have or should have reacted better, (actually right now I just realized I should have worded a text message differently to a girl, see what I mean?)
I shouldn't have responded back with such an aggressive tone,

etc ...

It's like I have to fit this perfect model or image I've procured for myself and when I feel I've missed the mark I get frustrated. It seems I can't make myself happy or content with who I am?

I'm thinking at age 30, I shouldn't be having any such thoughts, right? Is that normal??


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zombieslayer
14 years ago

I can be overly analytical on things. I think it's safe to say I might be my own biggest critic and I know I'm guilty of over analyzing things I do, say and how I react.

Everyday I think of something that ...
I said that I shouldn't have or should have,
I did something I shouldn't have or should have,
I reacted to something I shouldn't have or should have reacted better, (actually right now I just realized I should have worded a text message differently to a girl, see what I mean?)
I shouldn't have responded back with such an aggressive tone,

etc ...

It's like I have to fit this perfect model or image I've procured for myself and when I feel I've missed the mark I get frustrated. It seems I can't make myself happy or content with who I am?

I'm thinking at age 30, I shouldn't be having any such thoughts, right? Is that normal??

Originally Posted by: Zero2Cool 



Zero - there's no such thing as normal.

That said, you are your own worst enemy. You're overcritical of yourself. You hold yourself back. You can do a lot more than you think you can do.

The girl example is a perfect example. Do we ever get it right with girls? Let's be realistic. There's a reason there's that joke that says "if a man says something and a woman doesn't hear him, is he still wrong?"

We all make mistakes and we all fail. I personally have failed at WAY more things than you even tried. But we go on.

Pick up Dr. Wayne Dyer's book "Your Erroneous Zones." Read it. It's a start. You need to stop worrying, stop feeling guilty, and stop beating yourself up for every little thing you do wrong and start enjoying life.

And one last thing - intelligence can be a curse. I can tell you horror stories of smart people I know who have paralyzed themselves by thinking too much.
My man Donald Driver
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(thanks to Pack93z for the pic)
2010 will be seen as the beginning of the new Packers dynasty. 🇹🇹 🇲🇲 🇦🇷
Wade
  • Wade
  • Veteran Member
14 years ago
Applause to zombie.

Even if I do resemble his last remark.

He's got it right, Kevin. Listen to him.

(on everything but that "don't need the run" stuff. 🙄 )
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
Tezzy
14 years ago
Wise men writing wise things. I still have moments catching myself being wrapped up in those exact same thoughts. Yes, overcritical, but at the same time I think those questions you ask yourself everyday are something that aren't done by enough people in the world. For me, the difference in healthy/unhealthy, normal/abnormal is how a person acts on the answers that they arrive at. I look at it as trying to better myself professionally and personally, not about keeping score with myself or comparing myself to some other measuring stick. Though actually I suppose that is a lie, because I have a set of moral and social standards that I do strive to uphold. When I reflect and find that I have violated my own rules, I don't beat myself up about it but instead make my mental notes to try and remain conscientious of that violation for the next time a similar situation arises.



The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds
from good will and an acute sense of propriety
and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies;
who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty,
the obscure man of his obscurity,
or any man of his inferiority or deformity;
who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another;
who does not flatter wealth,
cringe before power,
or boast of his own possessions or achievements;
who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy;
whose deed follows his word;
who thinks of the rights and feelings of others rather than his own;
and who appears well in any company;
a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.

John Walter Wayland 1899 wrote:


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Zero2Cool
14 years ago

Zero - there's no such thing as normal.

That said, you are your own worst enemy. You're overcritical of yourself. You hold yourself back. You can do a lot more than you think you can do.

The girl example is a perfect example. Do we ever get it right with girls? Let's be realistic. There's a reason there's that joke that says "if a man says something and a woman doesn't hear him, is he still wrong?"

We all make mistakes and we all fail. I personally have failed at WAY more things than you even tried. But we go on.

Pick up Dr. Wayne Dyer's book "Your Erroneous Zones." Read it. It's a start. You need to stop worrying, stop feeling guilty, and stop beating yourself up for every little thing you do wrong and start enjoying life.

And one last thing - intelligence can be a curse. I can tell you horror stories of smart people I know who have paralyzed themselves by thinking too much.

Originally Posted by: zombieslayer 



I'm sure this will be fodder for someone. I started listening to "Attacking Anxiety & Depression" session and it was helping a bit. They say people with anxiety worry themselves almost literally to death.

I know I need to stop beating myself up over things, especially such petty things ... I just don't know how to.

My dad said the same thing about intelligence being a curse. He used to tell me I was 'too damn smart for your own good boy'. I always figured he was joking around and didn't really understand what he meant.

I'm not sure if this relates, but it just came to mind. When I was younger I always excelled at sports, athletically speaking. I remember dad asking me 'son, do you know why you can throw the ball farther than the other kids and why you can run faster?'. I didn't know, an honestly didn't give a damn. He told me it was because I try harder than everyone else, that I feel I have something to prove.

Looking back, he's right. I wasn't the biggest kid on the block and I knew if I wanted to play with the 'big kids' that I had to take an extra hit, run extra fast and throw extra harder than everyone else.

Where I think that may relate is when it comes to intelligence, I kind of already know I'm pretty smart and have nothing to prove over others.

And I think that's what dad meant by being too smart for my own good.








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zombieslayer
14 years ago

I'm sure this will be fodder for someone. I started listening to "Attacking Anxiety & Depression" session and it was helping a bit. They say people with anxiety worry themselves almost literally to death.

I know I need to stop beating myself up over things, especially such petty things ... I just don't know how to.

My dad said the same thing about intelligence being a curse. He used to tell me I was 'too damn smart for your own good boy'. I always figured he was joking around and didn't really understand what he meant.

I'm not sure if this relates, but it just came to mind. When I was younger I always excelled at sports, athletically speaking. I remember dad asking me 'son, do you know why you can throw the ball farther than the other kids and why you can run faster?'. I didn't know, an honestly didn't give a damn. He told me it was because I try harder than everyone else, that I feel I have something to prove.

Looking back, he's right. I wasn't the biggest kid on the block and I knew if I wanted to play with the 'big kids' that I had to take an extra hit, run extra fast and throw extra harder than everyone else.

Where I think that may relate is when it comes to intelligence, I kind of already know I'm pretty smart and have nothing to prove over others.

And I think that's what dad meant by being too smart for my own good.







Originally Posted by: Zero2Cool 



I think what he meant is that you over-think things. I see smart people do this all the time; some to the point of paralysis. Ironically, folks with average intelligence are often more successful in a capitalistic society because they know how to get things done instead of over-thinking things to death. I almost NEVER share my business models with my smart friends because they'll tell me why they'll fail. I don't give a fuck about that, and frankly, that stuff pisses me off. I want to hear how they'll succeed.

That's an extreme example but you'll get my point.

By the way, that quote from Tezzy was brilliant. I see that you and I both thanked him.

And trying harder than everyone else is a good thing. But sometimes, you have to sit back and enjoy your accomplishments. And count your blessings.
My man Donald Driver
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(thanks to Pack93z for the pic)
2010 will be seen as the beginning of the new Packers dynasty. 🇹🇹 🇲🇲 🇦🇷
Zero2Cool
14 years ago
I know exactly what you mean by not telling certain folks of your ideas.


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Rockmolder
14 years ago
Couldn't agree more. Intelligence and low self-esteem is one of the worst combinations possible, but they oftenly seem to be tied together.

Can't really add a whole lot, other than what's already been said. Stop beating yourself up etc. It's a lot easier to tell you through some forum than it is actually accomplishing doing that, though. Best of luck!
Cheesey
14 years ago
Sounds like Kevin needs a WIFE.
You know......someone to let him KNOW everything he says and does wrong.
That will end the "guess work".
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Pack93z
14 years ago
I put the "AB" in normal.. so I have little to offer here. lol.



"The oranges are dry; the apples are mealy; and the papayas... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
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