i hear ya, zero. just last nite, i reminded cole & cory (now 6) that i had parent/teacher conferences on wed. nite.

cole said: why can't dan (fiance) go?

me: cause dan's staying home with you guys.

cole: but don't dads get to go to those things?

me: well yes but somebody has to stay home with you, right?

cole: but why don't dads go?

LOL. it's like talking in circles most of the time. but i was totally shocked that he called dan - "dad"!! it was a really cool moment for me. 🙂

4PG, your problem is solved. My wife said, "We always went together." (Not really she went to these more often than I did.) Get someone to watch the kids for an hour and the Dad Dan won't miss out on all the fun.

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I'll go... teachers LOVE me at these conferences.

Liberal Wacked-out teacher: Well, your son does seem to have some developmental issues, possibly A.D.D., possibly at that growing stage where priorities are misplaced, we here at the school feel...yada, yada, yada........

Even More Liberal and pandering to her baby boy wife: Well, if you people paid a little more attention to my son's unique characteristics and allowed him to flourish.... yada, yada, yada...........

Hard-core asshole father (Me): You can beat him if you want. Hell, I'll beat him for you... where is that lazy little shit, anyway... he needs a nice-swift kick in the ass, RFN....

I didn't get to go to many of the parent-teacher conferences....
:icon_smile:

EDIT- I never ACTUALLY beat my kids, but all of them SWEAR to this day that I did. All five of them got a really good smack on the butt for some indiscretion pre-kindergarten, coupled with good voice, volume and enthusiasm in the send a cold-rush of shit straight to the heart of the offender department. Mom milked that whack for entire child-hoods... "Just wait until your father gets home." was standard fare in my household. :icon_smile:

hmmm...well they COULD go to dan's parents house. thanks for the idea.

Here's one of my favorite stories,
My secretary use to be a nanny for a couple out in the DC area.
She had taken the two young children to the mall. The youngest was around a year old and sat in the stroller most of the time. The older one was about 3-3 1/2 and he had to walk.
As they were leaving the 3 year old become fussy since he was getting tired.
"Carry me."
My secretary told him that she couldn't. I think by now the baby was out of the stroller and she was holding her. The stroller was full of stuff they had bought.
The 3 yr old, who had been trudging along and dragging his feet finally falls to the ground and would not go any further. He hollers even louder, "Carry me."
My secretary/one time nanny (who is not very big herself) tells him that she can't. She has the baby and is not able to carry them both.

Now most of you know that you tend treat your OWN children a whole lot different that you treat some one else's children. If my kid were laying there fussing I would pick him up and swat his behind and tell him to march. She could not or would not do this. So she simply told him that he would have to walk after all his legs weren't broken.

Not missing a beat he started to plead once again, "Carry me. My legs are broken!"

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LMAO!!! i hear stuff like that on a daily if not hourly basis from my lil guys. the two of em together? i could write a book!!!

the funniest moments have come when one tells on the other one.

cory: mommy - cole said "SHIT"!!!

me: i've told you that's not a word for little boys to say.

cory: but mommy cole said "shit" not me - i didn't say "shit" - i would never say "shit" cuz "shit" is a bad word. we should never, ever say "shit".

+1

OK, my dad comes home after spending two years in Pakistan. When he left, he bought a new mower. A lawn-boy self-propelled. I'm thinkin' I was in like 4th or 5th grade, Very end of summertime. Somewhere during the time of his absence, I had the bright idea that the lawnboy engine was an excellent candidate for conversion to a go-cart motor. My little project fell somewhat short of my expectations, and there were some reassembly issues. So, dad gets up to mow the grass (remember in his mind he's got a brand new mower in the garage to use). Me, well, I'm a little nervous and have mosey'd down to the street end of our very long driveway. I hear some very bad swear words coming from the garage, and watch as my father emerges from same, sees me and beckons me over... post haste... This is where I made the biggest tactical error of my lifetime. Somewhere along the line I had semi-learned the employment of the flipping of the bird, and chose this moment to display my wares. Now, I didn't have all the details down just right, as I actually gave him my ring finger instead of my middle one... Unfortunately for me my father's interpretive skills were sufficient, and it was off to the races for us. Now, I was a pretty fast kid, but that also worked to my detriment on this particular occasion. I had a girlfiend that lived seven doors down from us. As luck would have it, that would be the precise spot that my father caught up to me. Now, before I continue with the rest of this story, I gotta ask you- Who the hell barbecues in their FRONT lawn??? They did. He tore my pants off right in front of my girlfriend and her entire extended family, gave me a real nice bare-assed spanking. He had to go to D.C, that Monday, I was technically required to begin the school year on that day. I didn't go to school for a week. I was sick. :icon_smile:

see Df if that happened NOW

Parents would call the cops

We have grown way to far away from the basics principles of life I think...

When my g/f at the time now my wife, started to hang out more with her 3 girls and my son and daughter it became very apaprent that lot was wrong. She allowed her girls to say shut up, your stupid, and back talk..My kids would look at me all open mouthed

It took a while but her girls and now more apt to not say that stuff and if they do..Only takes a week off the puter to make them straighten up for a few months 😉

4pack......are you SURE your boys arn't related to me???? :thumbleft:

Dfost.........you should write a book if you have more stories like the lawnmower one!
Oh....and i wish i had a dollar for every time i heard "Just wait till your father gets home!" I learned REAL quick that that was the cut off point for my causing trouble.
I would follow my Mom's statement with "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!!! I'll behave!!!" 99 and 44/100's of the time that would work, and i would be spared the spanking.
(I deserved spankings alot more then i got!!!) :thumbleft:

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Okay.....i never had kids......so i'll share a couple of my OWN expieriences.

When i was about 5, I would wait until my Mom was talking with people when she was shopping at the store. I would then say "When I was little, my Mom would throw plastic bags into my crib for me to play with!!!"
I don't know if i fully understood why it was wrong to throw a plastic bag into a crib, but i KNEW the resulting look of horror i got from women when i said it! After we left the store my Mom would yell at me "Don't say that!!! People will BELIEVE you!!!" Of course at which point i would start laughing! My Mom was the one that told me how i would do that to her!

Then, when i was around 9 (i actually remember doing this) my Mom and 2 of my Aunt's were sitting at the kitchen talking about my sister's "Little visitor". Thats what they called it, and one day i got tired of them thinking i was a stupid little kid. So........I piped up....."For crying out loud.....why don't you just SAY "She's got her period!!!"
You should have seen the looks on their faces!!!! PRICELESS!!!! :thumbleft:

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