I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way in hell Paper can beat Rock! Is Paper supposed to magically "wrap around" Rock, rendering it immobile and ineffective? Why the hell couldn't Paper do this to Scissors?
And screw Scissors; why can't Paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I'll tell you why -
because paper can't beat anything! When I play Rock/Paper/Scissors, I always choose Rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their Paper, I can punch them in the face with my already-clenched fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought your Paper would protect you, you shithead."