It's not about being smooth. Anyone who knows me would laugh at the idea that I'm smooth -- I'm one of the twitchiest dorks you'll ever meet. I stutter and I stammer, I lisp, and sometimes I'm all but incomprehensible. No, it's really about honesty. And sometimes, as they point out in one of the episodes of
Bones, it's about money. He may be a good-ole-boy country bumpkin, but Brett Favre has one of the most recognizable faces (not to mention voices) in America today . . .
and he has money. Ungodly amounts of money. That he or any professional athlete would have to resort to jerking off for the benefit of his cell phone is beyond comprehension for me. After all, Brandon Underwood, who doesn't make a tenth of what Brett Favre makes, sure didn't have a problem getting not one, but two women in bed with him. Yes, he apparently made it rain a little, but that's beside the point. I wouldn't hold that against any man, especially since getting married is basically just making a commitment to make it rain -- with your entire paycheck -- for life.
Assuming there's any merit at all to these rumors, of course.