I've always felt God wouldn't put me through anything he didn't know I was strong enough to handle.



As you know, I'm moving to Greeley, CO. I have a duplex and all that is settled. There's a lot more to moving from one state to another than I imagined. I've made a list of things I need to do and when. Small things like internet, cable, utilities, etc ... to bigger things like Keiana's school.

Keiana will start school August 16th, so I'm hoping to be out there before then.

The hang up is Rebecca's mother refuses to allow me more than a month of having Rebecca during the summer. She says she needs her there for little league and swimming, both of which I don't feel are more important than spending time with her father. I've asked for the last two weeks of June and all of July and that's still too much according to her. So, now I can't leave until our court date, August 19th.

I'm trying to move all my stuff out there this weekend. Set up a moving truck, bought plane ticket back home, found a place to stay for a week or two while I wait for the court to be done. I'm hoping they reschedule so I don't have to see Keiana miss a few days of school.

I'm also still working 45 plus hours a week while trying to make these plans and working on a project with people who my program is going to make their positions with the company, less required. It's the direction the company is going, they know it already. But I feel bad for them.

I picked up a new vehicle last Thursday, but a few things stopped working so now its at the dealer again to get repaired. So, I kind of feel stuck at work.

All that stuff, it comes with the territory. I get that.

The part that has me near the edge of "can i handle this" was brought to my attention during lunch. I was at Pizza Hut with a co-worker when I got a text saying Grandma was being put in hospice and they were going to 'let her go'.

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Sorry to hear that things aren't going great... I don't have much to provide in terms of inspiration or practical advice, but you already seem to know that you have what it takes to get through this... You're just struggling. Just keep your head up, your feet moving forward, and little by little things will get easier and easier.

it's amazing what will give us a little perspective, isn't it? one thing my dad always taught me was that no matter how bad you might feel you have it, no matter how hard you might be struggling...there's ALWAYS someone else who is worse off than you. i guess that's why i only have my 'princess' moments a few times a year now. lol.

you're an awesome guy, kevin. you can do this.

Dad's saying to me was ... in concept don't get too big, but don't get too small. Meaning, no matter how good you have it, someone has it far better ... no matter how bad you think you have it, someone has it far worse.




I spoke with my Aunt and she says Grandma could last three days, or six months. Right now, it's up to how long she wants to continue fighting.

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Man things have been pretty depressing around here lately and I guess makes you realize how everyone seems to have their trials and also reminds me when things are going smooth don't forget to appreciate it. Zero I hope this doesn't come off as shallow but I kinda hope the season would start already to give some people on here something to cheer about and lose themselves in if only for 3 hours a week

I just came from ManorCare after a call saying she won't make it through the night. I'm the only one who can reach my father and she wanted to say good bye to him.

Dad told me thanks and he was glad he was able to say good bye before it was too late, then he paused and said 'sorry son, i wish you had that chance and i know you didnt want to see grandma in that condition... i really appreciate it'. Just thinking of those words, that chance ... pains me.

I'm glad for my dad and grandma I was able to create that bridge of communication, it feels good.

When Uncle Jeff said 'little kevin is here to see you too mom' she started laughing and said 'he doesnt like being called little kevin, jeff' and she looked upward at me an smiled.

Grandma's not in pain, she's comfortable, relaxed and keeps saying she's "im ready to come home, Jesus, ill see you soon."

I want to be happy for her that she's going "home" as she says, but I keep trying to hold back tears of selfish hurt. She's ready, she said shes' ready ... its just hard for me to accept it. I've never seen someone so visibly close to ... passing before. She went from laughing a little, to barely breathing, then asleep.

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Kevin.....I'm so sorry for your loss.
I know it's hard. But believe me, she IS with jesus. I envy her, seriously.

I know it's hard to let go of a loved one. The selfish part of us never wants them to go. She knew where she was going, and was ready. Lots of people never get the chance to say goodbye before they go. And that makes it even harder on those left behind in this evil world.
Be thankful you got that chance. Cherish it. Even though it hurts (it never stops, you just get used to it i guess it was a wonderful moment that she was able to share with all of you.

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Actually, I relate very much Kev. That is all.

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Tomorrow evening I, my wife and kids are making the trek to Mississippi to do something very similar.. say goodbye to her Grandmother and allow her to meet her Great Grandson for the first time.. it is overdue but life isn't always allowing, surgery and all.

Kev... I wish you well over the next couple weeks dealing with all of these different trials.. and I pray for your Grams.. but always take a small amount of comfort that she has lived a full life and is prepared.

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This was the second time Grandma got to see her Great Granddaughter. She smiled at her and Keiana teared up.

I am happy for her, she's going where she wants and how she wants. I hope the same applies for your Grandmother.

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