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Zero2Cool
2020-11-28T00:47:55Z
One of the better commencement speeches I've read.

Mary Schmich wrote:

Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt. Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.


Source: https://www.chicagotribu...creen-column-column.html 



This speech inspired a song.

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Zero2Cool (16m) : Rams elevate Bryce Perkins, Donte Deayon from practice squad
Cheesey (1h) : “Kinky”? 🤪😂
Zero2Cool (2h) : I think even if Kinky is active, Damon is playing.
KRK (2h) : With Keke doubtful, do you think snacks will be active?
Cheesey (13h) : Well, that’s interesting. Goff’s thumb in the cold. Hopefully it will end up with a couple INTs!
Zero2Cool (20h) : John Wolford ruled out, Jared Goff to start, Blake Bortles to back up.
Zero2Cool (14-Jan) : Reports: Lions to hire Brad Holmes as G.M.
Cheesey (14-Jan) : Looks like they dodged a bullet. Keeping our players safe the last 2 weeks, then bringing the disease into the facility.
Zero2Cool (14-Jan) : I dunno about all that. I just heard on the radio that contact tracing showed no concerns. I counted that as a win. :-)
Cheesey (14-Jan) : That’s good. If he did practice with the team, others could be infected.
Zero2Cool (14-Jan) : Nope. Contact tracing was good.
Cheesey (14-Jan) : Oh geez. I wonder if we will lose any other players now?
Zero2Cool (14-Jan) : The Packers have placed recently signed OT Jared Veldheer on the COVID-19 list as a result of a positive test
Zero2Cool (13-Jan) : That's a cannot do as I have you blocked.
packerfanoutwest (13-Jan) : see my post 16 hrs ago
Zero2Cool (13-Jan) : The year is going well. @AdamSchefter Bears’ GM Ryan Pace and HC Matt Nagy will return for the 2021 season. “I was impressed with both of them,” said Bears’ Chairman George McCaskey.
Smokey (13-Jan) : Cold temperatures are one thing, but the wind chill can make this game brutal. LA may not be prepared for such cold weather !
Cheesey (13-Jan) : 10to20moh wind...sorry!😁
Cheesey (13-Jan) : Low to mid 30s, 20 to 30mph winds
Zero2Cool (13-Jan) : @AlbertBreer The Lions will interview Bucs defensive coordinator Todd Bowles on Friday, I'm told. It's the only scheduled first interview left for Detroit, as the team wraps up the first phase of its
Smokey (13-Jan) : the
Smokey (13-Jan) : What is he game time weather forecast fr the LA/GB showdown ?
packerfanoutwest (13-Jan) : Bears rehire Pace and Nagy, Packers 2021 NFC Champs! thanks you sucky Bears
Cheesey (13-Jan) : I didn’t forget! My BUTT reminded me! (Plus the food is a lot cheaper, and no wait for the bathroom!😁
packerfanoutwest (13-Jan) : you forgot,"and warmer too"
Cheesey (13-Jan) : I wonder if there will be any tickets available to non season ticket holders? Not that I could afford to go anyway. Besides, my chair is more comfortable
Zero2Cool (12-Jan) : @mattschneidman Packers prez Mark Murphy says there will be between 8,000 and 9,000 fans at Lambeau Field for Saturday’s game.
Zero2Cool (12-Jan) : Obviously it hasn't been allowed before. Does not change anything.
wpr (12-Jan) : In a way it remind me of the Cards/Cubs trading players between games of a doubleheader. 1922
beast (12-Jan) : Never been allowed before... as active roster guys aren't allowed, and before 2020 PS players have never been allowed to play in games before. And might never be allowed again
Zero2Cool (12-Jan) : If he plays, it'll be two teams one playoff. Never been done before.
Cheesey (12-Jan) : Yup pfow. Thanks
packerfanoutwest (12-Jan) : or packers.com
packerfanoutwest (12-Jan) : Or nfl.com
packerfanoutwest (12-Jan) : or go to ESPN
packerfanoutwest (12-Jan) : or go to the thread yooper started
packerfanoutwest (12-Jan) : Cheesey,go to proffotballtalk,,your answer is there
KRK (12-Jan) : Sorry, that coaches analysis live might be on ESPN news
KRK (12-Jan) : for those of you who want to enjoy the Natl Chmpship, watch ESPN2 which has coaches doing live analysis
Cheesey (12-Jan) : Why would that make playoff history?
Zero2Cool (11-Jan) : Jared Veldheer signing with Packers, set to make NFL playoff history
packerfanoutwest (11-Jan) : ok enuff on any team not in this years playoffs
TheKanataThrilla (11-Jan) : I think that they had to move on from Pederson. The Wentz contract is a noose on this team. They really have to try to make something positive out of it and Pederson would make it impossible.
Cheesey (11-Jan) : 3years removed from winning the super bowl. It’s a “what have you done for me lately” league.
Zero2Cool (11-Jan) : The Eagles have reportedly fired coach Doug Pederson following their rocky 2020 season
Cheesey (11-Jan) : I called it! Did you see the look on Ben’s face at the end? He looked in shock.
Zero2Cool (11-Jan) : That was a messed up game. I was not expecting it at all.
yooperfan (11-Jan) : Whew, I was glad to wake up this morning and find that the Browns held on for the win!
packerfanoutwest (11-Jan) : all that for a loss? FUCK PITTSBURG!!
Mucky Tundra (11-Jan) : hell of a stat line for Roethlesbooger
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