SINCITYCHEEZE
11 years ago


Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Yuma ,

Arizona . They turn a corner and see a sign that says,

"Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents." They look at each other

and then go in, thinking, This is too good to be true.



The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the

room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What 'll it

be, gentlemen?"



There 's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a

martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced

martinis - shaken, not stirred - and says, "That 'll be 10

cents each, please."



The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at

each other. They can 't believe their good luck. They pay the

40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the

bartender again saying, "That 's 40 cents, please." They pay

the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.

They 've each had two martinis and haven 't even spent a

dollar yet.



Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve

martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"



"I 'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says,

"and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the

Lottery jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this

place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer - it 's

all the same."



"Wow! That 's some story!" one of the men says.



As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can 't help

noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don 't

have any drinks in front of them and haven 't ordered

anything the whole time they 've been there.



Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men

asks the bartender, "What 's with them?"


The bartender says, "They 're retirees from Wisconsin,

They 're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price.

Wisconsin Born, Packer Bred
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Formo
11 years ago
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dfosterf
11 years ago

Pulled Over for Speeding














A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding...

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI.

Officer: Can I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: Oh, it's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: Yeah. Oh, but come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove compartment when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: You have a gun in there?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the lady who owns the car. She's in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the trunk?!?

The officer tells the man to hold on, backs off carefully, and calls for backup. Quickly, the car is surrounded by police, and the captain approaches the driver to handle the situation.

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure, Officer.

Captain: Hmm, this license is just fine. Whose car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open the glove compartment, please, so I can see if there's a gun in there?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

He opens it, and sure enough, there's no gun.

Captain: Would you mind if we opened the trunk? I was told you said there's a body in there.

Driver: No problem.

The trunk is opened, nothing in there but a spare tire.

Captain: The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove compartment, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the kid told you I was speeding, too!

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    dfosterf (24-Apr) : (Your trade up mock post)
    dfosterf (24-Apr) : Mucky- The only thing fun to watch would be me flipping the f out if Gute goes up to 13 and grabs Brock Bowers, lol
    beast (24-Apr) : DT Byron Murphy II, Texas... whom some believe is the next Aaron Donald (or the closest thing to Donald)
    Zero2Cool (24-Apr) : What? And who?
    Mucky Tundra (24-Apr) : *sad Mucky noises*
    Mucky Tundra (24-Apr) : @JoeJHoyt Murphy said he’s been told he won’t slide past pick No. 16.
    wpr (23-Apr) : Just about time to watch Sonny Weaver stick it to the seahags. I never get tired of it.
    Martha Careful (23-Apr) : *game plan
    Martha Careful (23-Apr) : IMHO, not even close. He is not a guy you game play around.
    Mucky Tundra (23-Apr) : is Aiyuk worth a 1st rounder?
    Zero2Cool (23-Apr) : 49ers are seeking a 1st round pick in exchange for WR Brandon Aiyuk
    Mucky Tundra (22-Apr) : Based on Gutes comments, now I don't feel as silly having 13 picks in my mock the other day
    Zero2Cool (22-Apr) : Zach Wilson to Broncos.
    Zero2Cool (22-Apr) : Gutekunst says he'd love to have 13 or 14 picks. He's trading back huh lol
    beast (22-Apr) : Someday we'll have a draft betting scandal
    beast (21-Apr) : Sometimes looking extremely amazing, sometimes looking extremely lost
    beast (21-Apr) : I haven't looked into the QBs, but some have suggested Maye has some of the most extremely inconsistent tape they've seen
    beast (21-Apr) : Well it also sounds like Patriots are listening to trade offers, not that seriously considering any, but listening means they aren't locked
    Zero2Cool (21-Apr) : Maye needs to be AFC
    Mucky Tundra (21-Apr) : Not liking the idea of the Vikings getting Maye
    Zero2Cool (21-Apr) : Vikings HC joked that he may or may not have sent flowers to Bob Kraft. That's where rumor came from.
    beast (21-Apr) : Can't tell if this is real or BS, but some rumors about a possible Patriots/Vikings trade for #3 overall
    dfosterf (21-Apr) : One playbook to my knowledge. I was shooting for facetious.
    beast (20-Apr) : I'm not sure they have different playbooks for different OL positions, and Dillard run blocking is supposedly worse than his pass blocking..
    dfosterf (19-Apr) : The only problem with that is he isn't a guard either.
    dfosterf (19-Apr) : Put him at right guard. That is where he will be coached. That is where he will compete. He is not even allowed to look at the LT playbook.
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    beast (18-Apr) : OT Dillard has been absolutely horrible... like OG Newman levels
    dfosterf (18-Apr) : Suit him up and have him stand in front of the big board as a draft day cautionary tale.
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