Studying religion through parable and scripture has led me down the learned path of B-volution Jenningdom, which elderly statesman and scholars say, is the only concept of religion that makes sense.

A Brief History

Around 500,000,000,000 B.G. (before god) the two leaders of the infinite Universe, Raji and Jennings decided that in 500,000,003,278 years time a new species called "Human" will crave an almost-bloodsport played on a gridiron, as they decide what to create, and what these men/women think, do and want.

It was decided by Jennings that to keep this new world in line with the ancient prophecy of Lambeauity that certain rules and regulations were to be made to keep his and Raji's new creations' honest.

"I'm the cool one, you don't play that shit homey, you should look up humanity on Wikipedia Version 1" remarked Raji, as they discussed who will sit on the opposite ends of the good/evil spectrum. It was from this conversation, stemmed the creation of B-Volution and Jenningdom.

B-Volution

To B-Volve is to be eternally benevolent, free of all pain and suffering and in constant bliss. B-volution happens when, at the end of a life cycle, a Green Bay Packer Fan, player, coach or affiliate who remained true to the Packerble takes his/her place in the cycle-of-Curly. During the B-Volution ceremony, Raji rests his chin on the Lambeau turf and let's his large red tongue down the tunnel, offering luxurious footing for the soon to be B-volved. As the B-Volvee walks down the hallowed tongue of Raji, other members of the the afterlife (Also known as the Hall of Fame) greet the new member with open arms, rafters are hung from the teeth, as the B-volvee takes the final ride, into Raji's asophagus, into beautiful, neverending utopia.

Jenningdom

Jennings decided to create 31 illusions for man to fall foul to, each illusion seemingly no different from another. If a man/woman decides to follow one of the 31 illusions, they are doomed to Jenningdom.

Jenningdom can occur anywhere, anytime. Once a life-cycle comes to an end for a non-packer, Jennings reveals his true form - the co-god of all, the baddest motherf*Cker of them all. To formally cement Jenningdom occuring, Jennings dooms all non-packers to play four downs at defensive back against him. Most deaths occur due to admiration and realisation of the 31 illusions.

So, people, I beg of you, to follow Lambeauism or face the four-down-wrath.

fin.

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