djcubez
15 years ago
I've only been around here for a month but this entire post touches me just to be a part of a community that shows support like this.

Zero, I know I've never known you but I hope, pray, and wish you have the courage to survive this part of your life. It may seem bleak but there's plenty of opportunities in life for you to enjoy, I'm sure your mother wouldn't want you to dwell on her death but instead reflect on the good life that she led and all the memories she left behind. You have my respect and condolences.
Zero2Cool
15 years ago

Zero, I am truly sorry for your loss.

Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it will help dampen the pain. But for now, the best thing to do is to reach out to the people around you. Your family, your friends, your church. Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.

You will be in my prayers.

"NodakPaul" wrote:


I've been reaching to everyone I can think of and them some. Normally I've been the person who just keeps things in and deals with them, but this is something I'm just not strong enough to overcome.



Zero........don't be afraid to laugh. Your Mom would want you too, I'm SURE of that.
The sun will shine again........there is part of your Mom in you, and in your daughter.

"cheesey" wrote:


I told myself that same thing. I was laughing at something in the radio and stopped right away an said sorry mom, don't think just because I'm laughing that means I miss you any less. Then thought I think she'd want me to be happy and not crying everyday. I mean she has to know I miss her, she has to.

45 is WAY to young to go.
That's absolutely heartbreaking.

I'm so sorry to hear that, Zero. You've gone through a lot in the past few years and definitely don't need this right now. She is someone who was there for you and helped keep you together.

You'll be in my prayers tonight. I can't imagine what you're going through. I never had an experience this bad, so I don't think I could help you other than saying stay strong and stand tall. There are those who need you, especially your child. You need to stay strong. That's what your mother would have wanted.

"Zombieslayer" wrote:


Keiana is having a hard time understanding it all. I explained it to her once and that's all. She's only six. I will wait until she's older. Mom gave her some disney books awhile back and now those are the only books she wants me to read to her at night.


Sorry to hear of this Zero. Can't even begin to say "I know how you feel" but I sure do know how I would feel...

"PackinSteel" wrote:


I thought I knew how I'd feel, but its so much deeper a pain than I imagined.


I've only been around here for a month but this entire post touches me just to be a part of a community that shows support like this.

Zero, I know I've never known you but I hope, pray, and wish you have the courage to survive this part of your life. It may seem bleak but there's plenty of opportunities in life for you to enjoy, I'm sure your mother wouldn't want you to dwell on her death but instead reflect on the good life that she led and all the memories she left behind. You have my respect and condolences.

"djcubez" wrote:


I don't want to say its getting easier or better because it never will, but I think the more I talk to others, regardless of the topic I'm able to accept it more.







To all, sorry for the late replies, but Keiana was sick yesterday and I didn't get a chance to get on the computer. Thank you all for your time and comments, it means a lot to me. Thank you.
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Cheesey
15 years ago
Kevin....you don't have to apologize about anything. With what you are going through, and now your little girl being sick, to say you have alot on your plate is an understatement.
I know how having people there for you can be a great help. It doesn't show weakness that you can't handle this alone. To me, it takes a bigger man to admit he needs help, then to try to be "tough". When Jesus found out that his friend Lazurus died, he wept. My Dad taught me that scripture, and taught me never to be ashamed to show emotion.
We are still praying for your strength to get through this.
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Zero2Cool
15 years ago
This thread meant the most to me. I didn't want to lose it so I quoted everyone's response in order they were entered and carried them here.
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longtimefan
15 years ago
How has it been going?
Zero2Cool
15 years ago

How has it been going?

"longtimefan" wrote:



I've taken the cowards way out and try to not think about her being gone and just remembering the good times.
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wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
15 years ago

How has it been going?

"Zero2Cool" wrote:



I've taken the cowards way out and try to not think about her being gone and just remembering the good times.

"longtimefan" wrote:



It is not being a coward. Everyone grieve's in their own way. Out local Hospice has been wonderful offering all the support we need. Those that want to take part do. those that don't feel the need do not.

I am truely sorry for your loss. We are almost to the 1st year anniv for my father's death.
I think about him all the time. Just a few days ago my mother and I were talking and I had to catch myself before I said, "Let's ask Dad. He will know the answer."

Alan has been a huge help to me over the past year and during the months leading up to his passing.

The one thing that got me thru the hardest days was I know if my dad were still here, he would be suffering. I know he has gone on to a far better place and he is not in pain any longer. That's what I want for him so I am glad.
This past week my son and I went to ball game in St Louis. The is a brick paver with Dad's name on it. He loved the Cardinals. So we had a chance to take a few minutes and think about how he would have enjoyed the trip.
Trust in the Lord and he will bring you on thru.
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4PackGirl
15 years ago
thank you for sharing this thread with us kevin. as you know, i somehow missed hearing about your mom. i've told you how i feel & how sorry i am that i couldn't be there for you. i am happy to see how my brothers & sisters on the site took such good care of you during that time - makes me very proud of each of you.

i talked to my dad alot that first year after he died. every morning, i went out on my back porch, looked up into the clouds, & said "mornin daddy". and i'd tell him all that the twins were learning to do & ask him for strength constantly to get through. nearly 3 years later & i find myself talking to him less & less. sometimes i feel like i'm turning my back on him & his memory but i'd rather think that he has in fact instilled in me the strength i prayed for to make it through.
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
15 years ago
I know we were speaking about your mother, Kevin but after PackGirl's recent post, I was reminded of the Ann Lander poem that I have on my desk. I have a slightly different version that this one but I wanted to share it with everyone.
"My Father" by Ann Landers 

My Father
by Ann Landers

My Dad Can Do Anything!!
A Child says at:
4 years: My daddy can do anything.
7 years: My dad knows a lot, a whole lot.
8 years: My father doesn't know quite everything.
12 years: Oh, well, naturally Father doesn't know that, either.
14 years: Father? Hopelessly old-fashioned.
21 years: Oh, that man is out-of-date. What did you expect?
25 years: He knows a little bit about it, but not much.
30 years: Maybe we ought to find out what Dad thinks.
35 years: A little patience. Let's get Dad's
assessment before we do anything.
50 years: I wonder what Dad would have thought
about that. He was pretty smart.
60 years: My dad knew absolutely everything!
65 years: "I'd give anything if Dad were here so I could talk this over
with him. I really miss that man."



Mothers are no less important by the way.
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Cheesey
15 years ago
Zero.........after both my parents died, i found myself temporarily forgetting they were gone. I would think "I'm gonna give mom a call".......then reality would hit like a ton of bricks. Or i would have a dream, where they were with me, and I'd wake up happy, for about a half minute.........you have to deal with it whats best for you. Little by little you will learn how to handle remembering she's not here, and it will be replaced with the undying love you have for her.
My mom said "No one is truely gone, as long as there is someone left here that remembers them."
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